Funny Situations I Witness Everyday ( FSIWE ) 1

At The Airport And At The Plane

31/5/2014 3:55 pm

Hong Kong Airport

Characters : Stupid Kid : Annoying Boy With Curly Hair

Vulture Mother. : Mother With Humongous Nostrils

Hellscreamer : Daughter Who Screams Louder Than Banshee

Bald Evidence. : Is A Bald Father Who Wants Evidence

Freelancer : Guy Who Wants To Be Free

Death Granny : Granny With Ability To Death Stare

Vegas Talker. : Not A Very Important Character

Black Lumberjack : Bald Bearded Black T Shirt

Bearded Wonder : Helped Me To Adapt To The Death Stare

Nose Face : The Guy Whose Nose Is Just Not Right

Green Door Breaker : Little Boy Who Can't Contain His Stupidness

Scared Guy : Always Scared And Nervous

Useless Man. : Never Of Any Use As His Name Suggests

Fresh Shave. : Flight Attendant With A Fresh Shave

Punishing Dominator : The Mother Likes To Push A Lot

Wrong Timing : The All Time Wrong Timer

Mother Timer : The Mother Of Wrong Timing

Thumb Sucker. : Child Of Punishing Dominator With Her Thumb

Never Out Of Her Mouth Even If It's World War 3

Metrocity Atrocity

Okay, So Stupid Kid Comes Into The Metro With His Vulture Mother And Hellscreamer Follows. So I Think " Okay This Is The Whole Family " But Little Did I Know That Actually Bald Evidence Was Actually Their Father. I Got To Know When He Appeared Before Me At The Last Second Because The Doors Had Already Closed. He Kept Saying " Ok, Ok I'll Meet You On The Next Train But I Think Stupid Kid Was Deaf And Was Threatening To Thrash The Door Open, But Of Course He Wouldn't Scratch The Glass And Would Fracture His Hand, But Then Even Though I Had Music Playing Through My Headphones Hellscreamer Almost Makes Me Go Deaf With Her Scream. I Thought It Was All Over But Then, Disaster Freelancer Behind Me Had Planned All This And Had Spread His Arms Wide And Long, And Enjoyed.

In Line

The Line For The Departure Of Another Plane Had Started And Death Granny Was Talking To Vegas Talker, Of Course About Vegas And I Glanced At Death Granny With No Knowledge Of Her Limitless Power And She Glared Back And I Kid You Not I Nearly Died Sitting There. Well, Then Came Along Black LumberjackAnd He Was Weirdly Interested In My Shins. What?

Lone Walker

Nose Face Helped Me Master My Death Stare. First He Looked At Me And I Looked Away But Then I Thought " No, I Won't Do This Any Longer. I Have To Fight Back. How Much Longer Can I Hide In The Darkness And Go Unnoticed. No. People Should Remember Me " And Boy Did I Teach Him I Death Stared At Him And He Had The Same Experience I Did Except He Was Walking So It Was A Lot Harder For Him. Now That I Think Of It, It Did Look Like He Was About To Trip.

The Plane Home

Door Of Death

This One Was Kind Of Scary With A Twist Of Funny. So It Starts Of With Me Wanting To Wash My Hands After Eating Peanuts So I Try To Open The Middle lavatory On The Left And It Doesn't Open. I Push Harder One Or Twice It Still Doesn't Open, Then I Look Up And The Red Light Is On ( Somebody Is Inside ) Then I Use Another One And Sit. A Little While Later I See Scared Guy And Useless Man By The Door And The Red Light Is Still On. Now It Gets Scary. I Hear Banging, Loud Banging. Like A Dragon Trying To Come Out Of A Cave. Scared Guy Is Shivering And Tries To Open The Door But It Doesn't Budge, So He Sees This As His Chance To Be A Hero, And Fresh Shave Is Walking By, But The Banging Gets Louder, He Gathers All His Courage And Tells Him " Sir There Is A Knocking On The Door " . Fresh Shave Comes And Says " Sir, Do Not Panic " And He Does Something And Opens The Door. The Out Bursts The Green Door Breaker And Escapes His Horrorland ! Little Did I Know That Actually When I Fiddled With The Handle , I Had ( Without My Knowledge ) Managed To Auto - Lock The Thing. So Actually No one Even Knew, Except For Me And You Of Course.

The Arrival

Wrong Time

Now I Had Ben Standing In Line For Nearly 10 Minutes And Then, Disaster Wrong Timing And Mother Timer Were Walking Against The Line To Go Towards The Bathroom Right Next To Me And I Kid You Not, The Mother Went In With The Boy Even Though He Was Clearly Capable Of Going On His Own. I'm Still Wondering How Punishing Dominator Managed To Push Me And At The Same Time Lean On The Bathroom Door To This Day. Anyway Getting On With The Story Punishing Dominator Was Leaning On The Door With All Her Force ( Don't Ask Me Why ) And Wrong Timing And Mother Timer Were Trapped Inside, And Finally The Best Part When Mother Timer Finally Pulled The Door Open With All Her Might, The Door Made A Quick, Loud Noise And It Opened At The Speed Of Sound And Punishing Dominator Nearly Killed The Two. Every Story End With Laughter, And This Is No Exception. Punishing Dominator Did Have The Last Laugh With Thumb Sucker

Addiction

So Thumb Sucker As Her Name Suggests Has Not 1 But 2 Addictions ( That I Know About ) That Are Horrifyingly Weird.

Addiction 1 : Thumb Sucking. I'm Serious, I Don't Know How It Happened But She

Climbed On To Punishing Dominators Lap ( Nearly Impossible ) With, Not Two But ONE

Hand, You Heard That Right, Or Read That... Whatever The Way I See

She Could Scale Mt. Everest With Her Thumb In Her Mouth.

Addiction 2 : Torturing. Oh Yeah, You Saw This Coming The Way I Described It

Ummm... Her. I Swear To God She Can Dominate And Torture

Punishing Dominator. So Here I Was Trying To Listen To My Music And

I Think She Is Half Banshee Because She Was Throwing A Tantrum.

When Punishing Dominator Took Her In Her Lap And Turned Away

She Switched Off Her Screen What ??? Who Does That ? Ok The

Craziest Part She Made The Little Kid In The Seat In Front Of Me Cry

By ( Not Kidding )Trying To Pull Out His Foot, And She Still Had Her

Thumb In Her Mouth