Nasheed: Accept Me for Who I am!

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I sat at the family table, waiting for father to arrive. Today could be the day that could possibly change the rest of my life; the day I tell my dad that I am gay.

I have known for at least two years now, and I could not live a second longer hiding it from my parents. Since my mother is out in Nigeria, our home country, promoting her new beauty skin products, I decided to not bother her with it for now. That is, unless my father tells her after I tell him.

I always asked my father why did he name me Nasheed. He told me every time, "Because I want you to be a musician son, a musician that would impact life better than anyone can." Granted, I am musically talented; I can play several different instruments, from cognos to pianos. I can play the hell out of a violin and has taken private lessons since I was a kid.

Mother appeared periodically during my childhood as she is an entrepreneur, and was always gone, traveling to different provinces and states all over America. Once her traveling beauty business gained recognition, she started to go on month-long expeditions. She would send me plenty of souvenirs from wherever she went and would write me letters nonstop. But what I never did understand is why she never called me and when I did call her, the conversations are always brief.

I heard the front door open and close and my heart began to pound uncontrollably in my chest.

My father has always been around as he runs a local barbershop that has gained the likes from many higher-ups in Roitset. He is serious about what he does and is never one to pick an argument with. I learned that the hard way when I was 13 when my father caught me watching porn in my room. I tried to lie and say it was for educational purposes and he took my laptop away from me for a year, and my phone for a month. I had to use the school library for all my homework, and being in a prestigious private school made everything more difficult. That is just one of the many arguments I have lost against him. My father probably never expected me to be a homosexual, probably because I had plenty of girlfriends up until I was 15.

When I broke up with my last girlfriend, I wanted to try something new. I didn't think that new thing would be men.

"Nasheed?"

I looked up to see my father staring at me from the kitchen sink.

"You look like you're in deep thought son, what is it?"

I took a big gulp. "Father I must tell you something."

Father raised his left eyebrow and walked towards the table and sat in the chair right in front of me.

"Ok," He said adjusting his chair giving me a serious glare, "What is it?"

I began to get second thoughts about the whole thing. But it was something in me that gave me the courage to continue.

"Don't be disappointed in me, but I want to be h-honest with you.."

Father was still staring intensely at me. I spoke softly.

"Father, I'm gay."

Father was still solid as a rock in his seat, and I knew he wanted me to explain my statement even more.

"I have known for two years, I met this guy during a private lesson and I knew from then."

I looked towards the table for help, as if it could further explain myself.

Ten seconds have passed, And my father was still looking at me. Finally, he spoke.

"Nasheed, I want you out of this house by tonight."

I looked at him with guilt and shock.

"Where would I go? You really g-"

"That is up to you!" The beast inside my father was finally being unleashed. He slammed his fists on the wooden table.

"How dare you insult this household and culture with your demonic ways! I want you out by tonight!"

"Father, I have nowhere to go!" I begin to plead in frustration, "Please, forgive me! I just wanted to be honest with you!"

"Shut up and don't say another word to me!" My father's accent now stronger than ever.

"Leave this kitchen! Now!"

I did not budge. I have the same boldness and stubbornness as you, father.

"No."

"NASHEED LEAVE!" He roared standing up, nearly flipping the table, showing his dominance over me.

By now I am pissed. I got up and began stomping out of the kitchen. I paused and stood beside him, our height matching and snarled.

"This will be the last you see of me? You hear? I am through with you!"

I headed straight for my room and began packing.  

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