Her Godfather (18+)

Chapter 13

I miss you.

Matteo read the message over and over again, his gut filled with a tight knot of shame and guilt. What the fúck am I doing? He thought to himself. He had just finished dropping off Vanessa at her house and was on his way back to his apartment. Tonight had been their third date and with each one he felt more and more disgusted with himself. He couldn't keep doing this, couldn't keep leading one woman on while going behind Ivy's back and betraying her trust.

There were parts of him that were torn. His mind was telling him one thing, while his heart was telling him something else altogether and his heart wanted Ivy. He loved Ivy, she was the only woman he had ever fell in love with, she made him feel safe and loved. He couldn't wait for the moments where he would fall asleep and wake up with her in his arms. He wanted to kiss her, cherish her and make love to her for the rest of his life.

But that was his heart, his mind was telling him Vanessa is the one more suitable for him. Vanessa was a kind, smart woman and more importantly, closer to his age. They were both in the same stages of life, he was 40 years old, he wanted to start a family and he wasn't getting any younger. He wanted to get married and have children and he wanted that with only one woman and that was Ivy; but he knew she wasn't ready for that type of commitment.

He let out a long breath and ran a hand through his hair, he couldn't believe he had let Vanessa kiss him tonight. Matteo did care for Vanessa, he enjoyed her company, any man would but he couldn't seem to see himself falling in love with her. He thought if he had kissed her then something would change, but he felt nothing.

When he arrived at his apartment, his heart began to race when he noticed Ivy's car parked in front of the building. He didn't expect to see her, they hadn't spoken in days but god, he missed her. Parking his car next to hers, he quickly shut it off and made his way up to his apartment.

Heart racing, he opened the door to his apartment and the first thing that came into view was Ivy seated on his couch, slumped forward and her forehead pressed on her hands.

"Ivy." Her name came out in a whisper but she had heard him. Slowly lifting her head to look at him, her face was blank of emotion but Matteo noticed that her eyes were swollen as if she was crying. He immediately realized something was wrong.

Quickly rushing towards her, he kneeled down in front of her and took her hands in his. "Caro, baby, what's wrong? Did something happen? Are you okay?" He asked, his voice laced with worry.

She didn't reply. She stayed still and stared blankly at him, making him start to really worry.

"Ivy, please talk to me. What happened? Are you hurt?" He asked, his eyes pleading her to say something.

For a few moments she just stared at him, her eyes slowly roaming his face. Then suddenly she said, "yes."

"Yes? Yes are you hurt? Where? Tell me." His eyes starting scanning her body for any signs of injury.

"Here." She said, lifting her hands and placing them over her heart.

Matteo eyebrows furrowed with confusion and then suddenly he was filled with dread when he heard the next words that came out of her mouth.

"Where were you tonight?" She asked, her voice held no emotion.

"W-what? I-I was at work. Why?" He stuttered, shocked.

"I'm going to ask you one more time Matteo. Where were you tonight?" This time her voice held a hint of impatience.

She knew.

He knew he couldn't lie to her anymore, some how, some way, she had found out about him and Vanessa. "I was out.. on a date." He confessed.

Ripping her hands from his grasp, she shot up from her seat, her face filled with anger. "You're disgusting! You actually had the audacity to go out with another woman, kiss her, then come here and call me baby and act like you've done nothing wrong!"

Matteo immediately stood up. His face was a mask of shock. "How do yo-"

"I saw you!" She screamed, "I saw you kiss her! How could you do that? How can you kiss me and make love to me and then go behind my back and cheat on me with another woman?!" She sobbed, tears streaming down her face.

Matteo felt like he'd been punched in the gut. He hated seeing her like that, hated seeing Ivy hurt but he had no one else to blame but himself. "Ivy, baby I'm so sorry. I can explain!" He pleaded.

"Explain what? There's nothing to explain! You cheated. You got caught. End of story."

Matteo shook his head, "I was scared okay? And confused. you're 20 years old, your father is my best friend, for gods sake he trusted me enough to make me your godfather and what do I do? I go behind his back and sleep with his only daughter." He ran a hand through his hair, "Then your dad set me up on a blind date with Vanessa, and I don't know... it just felt easier to be with someone closer to my age."

Ivys jaw clenched, "So what? Am I just some young thing that's only good enough to be fúcked behind closed doors but not good enough to be seen out with in public?"

Matteos eyes widened in shock, "No! no that's no-"

Ivy ignored his protest, "You think this was just a game to me? a phase? a fantasy? Look at me Matteo! I can have any guy I want, I wouldn't go behind my fathers back and screw his best friend for a fúking fantasy!" Raising her eyebrows in mock seriousness she continued, "You're so worried about my age yet you weren't man enough to come tell me the truth."

At this moment his head dropped in shame, "I know and I'm sorry Ivy. I'm so sorry." His eyes pleading her to forgive him. "I made a mistake. I don't like her Ivy, she means nothing to me. I love you!"

Ivy snorted, her face morphing into a mask of disgust, "Love me? Huh, you have a funny way of showing it."

"I do love you Ivy, and I know what I did was wrong but I promise I wouldn't do anything to hurt you ever again. I don't feel anything for Vanessa. I promise I won't see her again."

"Did you sleep with her?" Ivy asked softly. Part of her didn't want to know but the other part her needed to know.

Matteos eyes widened and shook his head, "No! No we just kissed. once. That's it, nothing happened between us."

He reached out to touch her but she angrily shoved his hands aside. "Don't touch me!" She growled. Grabbing the necklace around her neck that he had given her on her birthday, she wrenched the necklace off and threw it at him. "I'm done! You and me are done! I don't want to ever see or talk to you again."

Matteo's heart began beating wildly against his chest. No no no ! He didn't want to lose her, he had fùcked up badly but he was willing to do anything not lose her. "Ivy please. I can't lose you." He pleaded, he didn't know what else to say.

Ivy ignored him and shoved right past him and walked straight towards the door. Just right before she opened the door, turned back to look at him. Her eyes filled with tears, she gave him a sad smile and said, "I love you Matteo. With all of my heart. But your not the man I thought you were."

Turning around, she opened the door and walked out. Leaving Matteo standing in the middle of the apartment, feeling his heart break as he watched the woman he loved walk away.