Where My Demons Hide (Lashton)

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Luke's Point of View

Three chimes of the clock indicated that it was now 3 a.m. Most people were sound asleep by now, but here I was, laying on the bathroom floor, dripping with sweat and stinging red eyes. Once the chimes had stopped, the only noise to be heard was the shower running in the background, masking the terrible sounds of me purging. With the last ounce of strength I possessed, I dragged myself back up to the toilet, "One more time." I whispered to myself, and then stuck my finger back down my throat.

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I woke up around 10 a.m., my body aching and throat burning. Physically I was in pain, but mentally I was numb. Its sort of hard to describe, but its like feeling empty. Your not happy, your not sad, your just nothing. Nothing..Which made no sense to me, I mean I have an amazing band and supportive fans...so why wasn't I okay?

I sighed and forced myself out of bed, I couldn't help but walk straight to the scale. I stepped on and peered at the number below my feet, 113 pounds,113 pounds of pure fat. I shook my head defeated and then trudged to the mirror. I lifted my shirt and began to inspect my body. It was utterly confusing, how could my rib and hip bones stick out, but I was still massively fat.

I walked to my bag and quickly lit up a cigarette. I took a long drag then flopped down onto my bed. My mind was racing with thoughts, all dark depressive ones. I hated my mind. I hated myself. I hated being alive.

"Luke are you awake?" My best mate Ashton called from out my door. I quickly put out my cigarette and responded, "Yeah." "Well hurry up and get out here, Michael and Calum are on their way here, we have a recording session later!" "Yeah okay be right out Ash."

Ashton was my best friend, band mate, and love of my life. You see, I have had a massive crush on him ever since he joined the band, but I've never told him that. I'm sure that if I did tell him he would think I'm a disgusting fat gay freak, so I keep my mouth shut about my feelings. Ashton could do so much better then me...I am ugly,fat and unworthy. All the hate I receive on twitter confirms that too.

Before exiting my room, I put on my braclets to cover up my cuts and scars..

Ashton's Point of View

Luke and I entered the car and were greeted by a smiling Calum and Michael. Immediately we all striked up a conversation, except for Luke who put his headphones in and closed his eyes.

"So uh, how's Luke doing?" Calum asked concerned. I sighed and shook my head, "The same, still going out and drinking every night and then locking himself in his room during the day. I'm getting really scared for him guys, something major is wrong with him. I think he's even started smoking!?" "What? Smoking? I will kick his ass!" Michael snapped. "Shh, he will hear you!" Calum whispered urgently, and then turned to me and said, "Why do you think he's smoking?" "I smell it on him all the time but every time I ask he just walks back to his room and locks the door." I responded.  "Well enough's enough, I'm done with his punk ass attitude, and I love him to much to watch him go down this shit path, I'm going to have a long confrontation with him tonight after recording." Michael announced decidedly. "Even if I have to beat his ass to make him hear me out." He half joked.

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Hey everyone,

thanks for reading the first chapter of my first 5sos fanfic! Hope y'all are planning on continuing to read my book because I have big things planned! Please like/vote/comment :) that'll encourage me to update quicker!!

~Courtney