Where My Demons Hide (Lashton)

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

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(This chapter contains a self harm scene that may be triggering. For your own safety don't read, and instead skip to the author note where I will post a summary of what you missed. ~ Courtney )

Ashton's P.O.V.

Calum and Michael left shortly after the confrontation with Luke, leaving me to deal with the aftermath.

I silently crept to his bedroom, and not to my surprise he was already asleep. I sighed and set two advil and a glass of water on the table by his bed, it should at least help ease his hangover.

I couldn't help but pause a moment and take in the sight of sleeping Luke. He looked so peaceful, yet ..he wasn't the Luke I met years ago.  He was now a paller, skinnier, version of his once happy self. The boy who never stopped smiling and wearing band tee's, was now the boy with a blank face and sweatshirt, no matter the weather.

That troubled me, what happened to my best friend that made him this way? Why hadn't I helped him in time? Surely this was just a "phase"? 

These questions lingered in my mind as I finally made my way back into my own room. And for the millionth time in my life, I fell asleep with Luke on my mind..

Luke's P.O.V.

I was abruptly woken up by a pain in stomach. I squinted open my eyes and glanced at the clock, it was 9 in the morning. Another sharp pain in my stomach and a wave of nausea indicated to me that I was about to throw up. A feeling I knew all to well.

I staggered out of bed and ran straight into the bathroom that connected to my room. In a matter of seconds, all of last night's shame and alcohol came pouring out of my body.

When I had finally rid my body of all its contents, I sat in front of the toilet and laid my head against the wall in defeat. I was so pitiful. I could only remember pieces of what happened last night, but I knew I made an idiot of myself in front of my best friends...again.

As punishment, I got up and retrieved my razor from its hiding place in the cabinet. I pushed up my sleeves and looked at the scars that traced my body. They were reminders of all the fights I've had with my inner demons. Reminders of how many times I've been a failure. Without hesitation, I brought the razor to wrists my and cut them over and over. The numb familiar pain came over me and I felt strangely at ease.

I had to force myself to stop, my arms were already gashed up, and I was loosing control. One day I feared, I wouldn't be able to stop myself, I would inevitably tear myself apart... But today was not that day. I quickly put my stinging arms under the faucet and then bandaged them up.

I staggered out of the bathroom and flopped down onto my bed, my arms were throbbing with pain. I noticed on the table by my bed that Ashton left me more Advil and a glass of water. I quickly and greatfuly chugged both down.

Ashton was always doing little things like this for me, no matter how much I fucked up, he still seemed to care. Well care about me as a friend at least...not like the way I felt for him.

I pulled out a cigarette and lit it up as my mind continued to dwell on Ashton.

Ashton's P.O.V.

10 am in the morning and Luke still hasn't left his room. Typical Luke behaviour these days, but today was going to be different. I decided I wanted to do something fun with him today.

Come out luke!" I shouted from outside his bedroom door. He only groaned in response. "If you don't come out, I'll drag your ass out." I joked. "Good luck lifting my body weight." I barely heard Luke mumble. "I'm counting to 3! 1-2-" and before I could finish out stepped Luke. "Well its about time sleepy head!" I said with a smile.

But my smile soon faded after catching the smell of cigarettes on him. Luke seemed to have noticed my mood shift and hurried past me to the kitchen. "So why do you want me out of bed so early?" Luke asked, clearly trying to divert my attention from the obvious smell of that poison radiating off his body.

"I uh made breakfast for us, and I was thinking we could go do something fun today? Like we used to." I responded cautiously, while mentally noting to ask him about the cigarettes later. "Oh, yeah sure. Sounds good to me." Luke replied slowly. "Great! Foods on the table."

Luke's P.O.V.

Breakfast went by fast, mainly because Ashton was the only one eating, and he didn't waste time when it came to that. I managed to only eat a couple bites without Ashton noticing, and the rest I just pushed around my plate aimlessly.

"Ready to go?" Ashton asked cheerfully. "Wait where are we going?" I responded curiously.  "I was thinking movies, walk in the park. Just stuff like that. So go change and we'll leave." "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" I asked glancing down at my sweatshirt and jeans. "Its like 90 degrees out, you'll have a heat stroke! Go throw on a T-shirt Luke." Ashton said while laughing and grabbing my arm in a playful gesture. I winced and jumped back at shooting pain of my fresh cuts being touched. "Whats wrong?" Ashton quickly questioned me with concern clear in his expression. "Nothing." I spat out through gritted teeth. "And I'm just fine wearing this." I added. "Alright.. Uh let's go then." Ashton responded quietly.

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Sorry for the short chapter, but next will be longer and hopefully written much better. Comment/Vote/ ? :)))

           ~Courtney

SUMMARY FOR THOSE WHO SKIPPED ↓↓↓

Ashton shows he cares for Luke, no matter how different he is acting  lately, and sets aside some advil for him to ease the hangover. Luke is tremendously embarrassed about his behaviour which brings him to harm himself again, and then proceeds to smoke a cigarette in his room. Ashton catches the smell of the tobacco when Luke walks out of his room, but decides he will talk to him about it later. Ashton prepares breakfast for the two of them, but Luke does not eat and Ashton does not notice this. Ashton insists they spend the day together, and suggests Luke changes out of his sweatshirt because of the heat outside. Ultimately Luke wins the awkward argument, and remains in his sweatshirt to protect his secret of self harm.