Harry's POV
I wanted to tell her everything, something about her eyes and the way she looked at me made me believe that she cares, but what's the point, I don't want her sympathy, she look at me differently I know she would, and I don't want that
I stayed in my car not knowing where to go I roamed the streets without a distention in mind
My phone was buzzing I answered as I parked my car in front of the beach
"Yes" I said not bothered to talk
"Hello mate I was wondering if you want to grab lunch later today" Zayn asked
"I don't know" I said while looking outside
"C'mon we haven't had lunch together in forever, the rest of the group will be there too" he added
"I'll think about" I said all though I have already decided not to go
"I'll text you the address" he said that and he ended the call
I felt bad for pushing them away but I don't know what has gotten into me
"Jessica is coming here to visit" I told them with a wide smile forming in my face
"Finally we're meeting Harry's girlfriend" Niall teased
"She's not my girlfriend" I snapped
"Whatever" Liam said in disbelief
She's not my girlfriend she's just my friend from back home
The next day when Jessy came I noticed that she was acting so differently, I haven't seen her in a year and a half although we talk almost everyday through the phone but it's not her looks I was referring to, it was the way she was acting, I always knew she had a crush on me but I never felt this way about her she was always the person I go to whenever something bad was happening at home, she knew everything about me, she was the only person I trusted
"That's Jessy" I pointed her as I introduced her to the rest of the group, they were all smiling and welcoming
"We heard so many things about you" Louis said
"And we finally get to meet you" Liam added while flashing a smile
She blushed
"I heard so many things about you guys too"
It was a simple dinner but it was nice, they all were talking to her and they were having fun, she suddenly held my hand under the table, I just looked at her and gave her an awkward smile, when the dinner was over we headed back home and she was staying with us but she stayed in a different room
The next day I threw a party at my place which was something I do often
The party was like any other party I threw loud and wild
Jessy came out and she was wearing a tight black dress that showed her cleavage any guy in my position would be head over heals for her, if they were given a slight interest from her, but I always saw her as a friend nothing more
"Hey you" she came closer and she hugged me then she whispered in my ears "let's go inside I want to talk to you"
"About what" I asked as I was sipping the drink I was holding
"About us" she said as she let out a light giggle
"What about us?" I asked although I knew what she was referring to but I didn't want to go there, I was too afraid I would loose her if we talked about her feelings toward me
"Are you that stupid or blind" she screamed, she was drunk I just realized that
"You're drunk Jessy" I tried to calm her down
"I love you" she screamed "I fucking love you, look at me why can't you love me back" she screamed as she started tearing
"Don't cry" I tried to hug her and calm her down but she pushed me away
I knew she has a crush on me but love?
And what's wrong with me? Am I incapable of love? Why can't I feel the same way about her
"Don't touch me, I was stupid enough to waste 7 years of my life waiting for you to feel the same way about me, but guess what I'm done waiting" she said that between her sobs and she headed to the bar area I wanted to tell her that loved her back but I didn't and if I said it I would be lying to myself and to her. I want to love her I really do.
I followed her minutes later to talk to her, she was drinking and crying she was a mess and when I came closer I noticed that she was talking about me
"No one could fucking stand him and I loved him regardless of everything, his fucking mother killed herself how crazy and fucked up those people are" she was talking in a loud voice and many people were gathered around her
I stood there paralyzed, I never told anyone about happened to my mother I always said she died in an accident they all looked at me and I saw the look of sympathy in their eyes I hated it, I hated Jessy for blurring it out like that, no one knew the truth beside her and my family and now my all my friends know I was stunt I couldn't move
"C'mon mate lets get you some water" Niall said as he tried to make me move I pushed him and I went to I stood in front of Jessica
"How dare you" I shouted
She just looked at me with opened eyes, I moved away from her she tried apologizing but I didn't listen. I couldn't listen, I didn't want to hate her, because for all honesty she's the only one who loved me regardless of everything, and if I hated her I will lose everything, if I haven't already
After that day I pushed all my friends away I hated the fact that they knew the truth, they all looked at me differently, I hated it, I don't want people to feel sorry for me there was nothing to feel sorry about, she killed herself, she did it to herself, my dad pushed her to do it, she claims that she had no choice, at least that's what she wrote, I hate her for doing it, I hate my dad for ruining her, and I hate myself for being too young to adjust what was going on
Months later like a stupid fucked up person I tried to get in hold with her, I missed her regardless of the pain she had caused I wanted to give it a try, I promised that I would, I was afraid no one will actually love me, I was afraid of being alone, she never looked at me in sympathy, she knew better not to. And when everything was going on fine between us, and I was too close to love her, or that's what I tell myself she decided that she doesn't love me anymore and she doesn't even want me to be a part in her life, just like that, she felt she was trying so hard and it was pointless.
But really can I blame her? I was actually surprised she loved me in the first place, and not it make more sense that she ended it
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Roseystars
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Storm (Harry Styles)
Fanfiction"It is not light that we need, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake. - Frederick Douglass" To me he was that storm but do birds really sing after a storm?
