Typically Me [BxB]

Chapter Fifteen

 I couldn’t help but get the feeling that Ray was leaving town to avoid seeing me for a few weeks. It made me feel bad, feel guilty. Then I got it into my head that he would probably be with Rylie, and I got angry instead. Yes, in the past I had maybe not been the most committed guy in the world. But I had never done anything bad to Ray, right? I didn’t feel like I deserved this- at all.

 I bloody protected him, for goodness sake. That was loyalty and love and nothing else. I wasn’t going to stand back and watch as people harmed him, was I? No, of course I was going to help. And what did I get for this? The guy I loved, the guy I had allowed myself to be put in hospital for, had broken it off with me and slept with his ex.

 Oh, I sure feel the love.

 So deep down I still loved Ray… but the strangest thing happened in his absence; I started to believe that I loved Tanya.

 She was a strong, beautiful woman. Like Sandy in Grease- yes, I’d watched that movie with my mother- she had changed herself for the person that she loved. And that person was me. I almost felt it was my duty to love her back. As a result of this, the next morning I went to her house before school.

 I knocked on her door once and it was opened instantly.

 “Can I help you?” the woman asked. Her brown hair was in a sleek style and she was wearing a grey suit with a white shirt. She looked me up and down and seemed almost repulsed.

 “Hello, I’m Ash. Is Tanya walking to school today?” I asked in my most polite voice. I had been expecting Tanya and was therefore leaning against the doorframe. When her mother had answered I had straightened my pose.

 She looked me up and down once more.

 “You’re Ashton?” she asked. I nodded. “One moment.”

 She shut the door. I wasn’t sure whether I was supposed to stay or leave. So I stayed. I heard angry but hushed voices from behind the door and eventually it reopened. Tanya looked annoyed and her mother had a forced smile on her face. She waved us off to school but not before Tanya could pointedly hold my hand. She released it when we were round the corner.

 “Sorry about that, my mother-” she started, but I cut across her.

 “No worries. I’ve dealt with many a disapproving parent before.” I said and she smiled. I held her hand again which surprised her, but she didn’t comment.

 We dawdled towards school; the longer we took, the less time we were in form with Dylan. It was bright but chilly out, and I put my arm round Tanya as we walked. She cuddled up to me, wrapping her arm around my waist. She tried to pull away from me as we entered the form room but I held onto her.

 Dylan stared at us wide eyed when I entered the form with my arm round Tanya. So did everyone else, but it was his reaction that I looked for. He quickly recovered himself and continued talking to Bradley about something, but Brad kept his eyes on me.

 Instead of heading over to them or to the girls, me and Tanya went and sat together at the very back of the room.

 “What’re you doing?” she asked through gritted teeth, though she kept a smile on her face.

 I leaned forward and planted a kiss on her lips. She gasped a little when I pulled away a few minutes later. Neither of us said anything, merely grinned at each other. The other girls were calling to her, but she ignored them; she had told me that their attitudes towards her had changed along with her sense of style. Then her face darkened even more as I felt a tap on my shoulder.

 Dylan, Aaron, Bradley and a couple of the other guys were standing behind me.

 “Y’alright, Ash? Why don’t you and Tanya come and sit with us?” Dylan asked, a bright grin on his face. I raised my eyebrows.

 “You must be joking?”

 He looked shocked and confused. I stood up, kicking my chair backwards and making everyone in the room jump.

 “You’re a two-faced, homophobic, disrespectful twat. Why on earth would I want to be friends with you?” I hissed. Brad became interested in his shoes again. Aaron looked around the room warily. Everyone was silent.

 “C’mon, Ash. I’m just trying to be friends.”

 “Aren’t you worried I’ll try and kiss you?” I sneered.

 “You’re going out with Tanya.”

 “So, why was it a problem when I was dating Ray?”

 “Because you liked guys.”

 “And now that I’m going out with Tanya, you think I’m not bisexual anymore?” I asked. He nodded. “Oh wow, you really are as dumb as fuck!”

 And then I did something no-one, not even myself, could ever expect; I leant forward and kissed Bradley.

 Not Dylan. Bradley.

 Dylan looked at me with wide eyes, not quite sure how to react. Dylan was busy pretending to throw up. Aaron looked deranged as his eyes flicked from object to object, never a person. Everyone was silent still.

 “The fuck are you doing, Ash?” Dylan asked me when he was done pretend vomiting.

 “Dating Tanya doesn’t change my sexuality, you idiotic cretin. Oh, and by the way, Bradley here was the first guy I ever fancied. I’ve wanted to kiss him for years. So, suck on that.” I snapped, and Dylan leapt at me.

 Tanya and Bradley were desperately trying to separate me and Dylan, but he continued to kick em in the stomach and I continued to punch him in the face. I was filled with so much anger and so much rage, and not just at Dylan.

 One punch was for my father. One punch was for the twins’ dad. One punch was for the most recent man to leave my mother pregnant and alone. One punch was for Rylie. One punch for Ray. And that punch? That was for all the homophobes, and for all the people that pretend to be your friend but aren’t true.

 And it knocked him out.

 I stood back, breathing heavily, and looked at Dylan lying on the floor.

 Tanya was crying and I pulled her into a hug. Some guys and girls were trying to help Dylan, but Bradley and Aaron came and stood with me.

*

 “Ashton Miller, you are expelled. Be thankful that Dylan and his family aren’t pressing any charges.”

 I was in the Headmaster’s office the following day. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying, and nor did I care. My mother was sat beside me, one hand holding mine, the other resting lightly on the small bump on her stomach. She was the kind of woman who didn’t judge. Sure, she might be a little disappointed in me, but she didn’t judge.

 We went home in silence and I went up to my room. I didn’t do anything; I just laid on my bed all day, staring at the ceiling. Eventually it must have been the end of school as Tanya came round. Mum let her up to my room and she collapsed down onto my bed beside me. I put my arm around her.

 What was I going to do now? My prediction was going to come true. I was going to be nothing. I was going to work at the shop on the corner forever. I had come so close to having a criminal record.

 I was screwed.