Typically Me [BxB]

Chapter Sixteen

 For the next few weeks I didn’t do much and my mother didn’t make me. She let me stay at home, she let Tanya come round, and I wasn’t grounded. I went to work and got my money. I came home and slept. I went out and got coffee. I came home and slept. I hung out with Tanya. I stayed home and slept.

 The best thing about what had happened was that I had Bradley and Aaron back. They came round a couple of times and we met up a couple of times, and besides the awkward moments when I asked how Dylan was doing, everything was back to normal between us. There was no reason for there not to be. Dylan sure as hell didn’t even think about interfering.

 I was dating Tanya.

 As it happened, I learned from Bradley that Quinn had broken up with Dylan. He told me that they’d had a massive argument, Quinn accusing him of being a ‘homophobic git’ and ‘not the guy she thought he was’. This brought me great joy, and even Brad laughed a little.

 Soon the seconds and the minutes added up, as did the hours and days until it was the 22nd.

 I hadn’t informed Ray that I was actually going to see him. I simply planned to leave him dangling, turn up last minute, hear what heart-crushing thing he had to say, and leave as quickly as possible to meet Tanya at the coffee shop. My mind was completely made up; I was going to stay with her.

 I wasn’t going to go back to Ray.

 Did I love Tanya? Sure, in a way. Was it the same as when I loved Ray? No way. Did I still love Ray? My heart said yes, but this made my brain angry and snap hell no.

 I had a steaming hot shower and got dressed in a Ramones shirt, a pair of black skinny jeans and black Converse high-tops. I straightened my fringe and switched my black shark-tooth earring for a red and purple one that Tanya had bought me a few days after my expulsion.

 Mum was waiting for me in the hallway with words of encouragement; she knew this would be tough for me. I tried to keep a brave face on, however, as she ruffled my hair affectionately. I groaned and flattened it back into place and she smiled- some things never change…

 I decided to walk all the way to Ray’s. Not only would it prolong my seeing him, it gave me that little bit more time to compose myself, to think… but before I knew it I was in front of his door. And I wasn’t ready. And my breathing became rapid and uneven.

 I mentally slapped myself. You can do this, kid! I thought.

 Yeah, right…

 Are you arguing with yourself?

 Maybe- don’t judge me!

 I’ll stop judging you when you man up and go inside!

 What about you man up and you go inside?

 I would, but I am you, so…

 I sighed and shook off my inner turmoil. I took a single, deep breath, and knocked on the door once.

 That one deep breath wasn’t enough; it was torn completely from my lungs as Ray hurriedly answered the door.

 Somehow the image of him in my mind was incomparable to the real thing. In reality he was even more handsome, even more sexy… His untidy hair was hidden under a black and white hat- which was weird because it was the kind of hat people would only wear in winter. He instinctively ducked his head and looked up at me with his large, deep brown eyes like he would do if his fringe was free. His cupids-bow lips were their usual soft pink but slightly red in one spot as he kept nibbling on it anxiously. He was wearing the same clothes had had worn on the first day that I’d met him; a plain black t-shirt which clung tightly to his toned torso and black skinny jeans. His black shark-tooth earring was in and his dragon tattoo was on display.