Typically Me [BxB]

 There has been many times during the short period of my life so far in which I have asked myself the question what is my life about?

 Why am I on this planet, why am I the way I am, is there any purpose for me that I must fulfil?

 It’s hard to have so many questions and yet no-one to answer them.

 It’s hard to feel like your whole life is one big oxymoron.

 I’m quiet and introverted, but everyone at school knows my name. I believe that violence is never the answer, but I’ve been in more fights than I’ve had birthdays. I think players are horrible people, but I’ve been out with more girls than I’ve had fights.

 This was all I could think about as I lay in my bed trying to get to sleep. My brain wouldn’t shut off- I had to lie there, wide awake, and think about my life. I had visions of my life going nowhere; I’d still be stacking shelves in the corner shop when I was thirty. I’d have no girlfriend because I’d gone out with every girl I knew and they’d all hate me for being a womaniser, a player. I’d have a criminal record.

 My brain wouldn’t just shut up and let me dream about something nice.

 Stupid brain.

 I wanted to battle all the bad thoughts with good facts but I couldn’t be bothered. I wanted to think about how I’m smart so I could get a good job, that I can control my temper- when I want to- and that I’m apparently ‘good looking’ and ‘could get any girl to fall for me’.

 But I couldn’t be bothered.

 So I continued to wallow in self-pity.

 Man, I was depressed.

 I didn’t even notice when it started to get light outside. I had gotten no sleep and was about to have to get up and go to school. Great.

 I could always bunk off…

 I pretended to be asleep when my mum came in to wake me up. It would shock her to see me awake this early.

 “C’mon, Ash, time to get up.” she said, digging her elbow into my back and pulling my hair. It was the only way to wake me up on a school morning, anything less I would simply sleep through.

 “Go away!” I moaned into my pillow.

 “No, Ashton, wake up.” she said, digging her elbow in even more.

 “It’s… so… early…” I groaned.

 “Get up or I will break your guitar.”

 “I’m up, I’m awake.”

 She left my room and I slumped back down onto my bed.

 “ASHTON!”

 “Oh, man! How did you know?”

 Once out of the shower, I had to have three attempts at doing up the buttons on my shirt; my brain was now letting me sleep at the time I needed to be awake. Thanks, brain. Thanks a lot.

 I left the top button undone on my shirt and made the tie really short. Well, you gotta give the teachers something to complain about. I pulled on my skinny fit black jeans, which were also against school rules- as were my Converses.

 What a rebel.

 I went over to my mirror and put in my black shark-tooth earring. Again, against the rules.

 No teacher at school had yet caught me for my tattoos. When they did, I’d be screwed… Hell, my mum didn’t even know. All it took was some fake ID.