NEVER TAP OUT

~36~

Emerson's POV
•A week later•
I laid under my covers still and awake. I watched as the sun gave the wall a yellow color. My eyes fell heavy; but I refused to close them. Every time that I close my eyes I see all the events that happened, unfold again. I felt that I didn't need sleep because I was already living a night mare.

My life is falling apart and there is nothing I could do about it. I don't want to worry anyone, but that's all they do is worry about me. Someone is always asking me if I'm okay. I don't know what to say to them, so I just nod.

I must have been lost in thought, because I didn't notice my mom sitting at the edge of my bed. "Sweet heart" she said with a soft voice. I glanced at her then back at the wall. She cleared her voice before she spoke. "I know you don't want us to worry about you" she paused. "But we are" she sighed.

"Why?" I stayed focused on the dust that danced in the sunlight. She inched a little closer to me and rested her hand on my cheek. I jumped as her thumb caressed a tear that slipped down my cheek.

"Emerson, you've not left your room since that night" she moved her hand from my cheek to my right hand. She gently gave it a squeeze then tried to smile. "Do you want to talk about it?" I gave her a blank stare.

"No, I'm fine" she turned her head to face the door. "What is it?" I asked in a low voice. She shook her head as she pulled her hand away from me. "I'm sorry" I whispered before tears fell onto my cheeks. 

"Don't be" she turned to face me. "You did nothing wrong" I wiped a tear from my left cheek. "None of this is your fault" she grabbed my shoulder. I shook my head trying to find the right words.

"Mom, I killed a her" I managed to say. "I don't know how to live with that guilt" I took a moment to breathe. "I can't sleep at night, because all I see is her face" my stare fell to my hands.

"Sweet heart, I know you feel guilty" she grabbed my face. "But she was an evil person and you were protecting yourself from her" she nodded her head. "Everything is going to be fine" she pulled me into her arms and held me for a moment.

"I'm scared" I whispered as we pulled away. She wiped my tears off my face. "I'm scared that I'm loosing myself and everyone that I care about" I stared blankly at her waiting for a response.

"Emerson Jane Kendall, you can never loose the ones you love" she gave me a half smile. "They'll always be right here " her pointer finger rested on my heart.

"I love you mom" she leaned in and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. I pulled her into a small hug but letting her go quickly.

"I love you Emerson" she stood up and turned around. "Never give up" she said with confidence as she turned to face me. I smiled as she left the room.

I laid back down and closed my eyes. I felt a little better after talking to my mom. She was right, I was protecting myself from her. I just need to forgive myself for it; maybe I'll feel better if I did.

As I laid there and thinking about life I could feel myself drifting into sleep. It felt good to rest for the first time in a week.

(2 hours later)
"You talk to much" my body was sweating. "Please don't kill me" my body twitched with every word. "Get off of me" I pushed against the object not knowing what it was.

"Emerson!" Someone was yelling my name but I couldn't see who it was. "Open your eyes" I slowly opened my eyes to see Annie.

"Annie?" I whispered pulling her into a hug. I cried on her shoulder as she rubbed my back. She pulled away from me to take a look at my face.

"I'm right here, Em" we stared at each other trying to collect our thoughts. "I brought you something" she smiled and stood up. "Here" she handed me a small white box; that had a very detailed design on it.

"What's this?" I furrowed my brows in her direction. She rolled her eyes and pointed for me to open it. I opened the white box to see a silver heart with the initials E&A on it. "Annie" I smiled at her.

"You've been having a rough time recently" she looked down at her hands. "I thought this would cheer you up" I played with the necklace between my fingers. "Do you like it?" Her head popped up.

"No" she stared at me blankly. "I love it" we giggled like little girls. "Can you help me?" I gestured for her to put the necklace on me. She clipped the necklace around my neck and sat back down in front of me.

"I was wondering" she paused and stared at me. "If you wanted to have a sleepover, like the good ole days" she gave me a small smile.

"Of course" I reached up and touched the tip of her nose. "I miss spending time with you Annie" I said with sadness laced on my tongue.

"Me too" she pushed my shoulder playfully. "So pizza?" I shook my head yes as we laughed.

A/n- I'm so sorry I abandoned y'all! A lot has been going on for the past few months! But I plan on trying to finish this book soon! I hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!