these darkened stars {andy biersack}

chapter nineteen

part two

trigger warnings: multiple mentions/depictions of sexual assault, panic attacks, and violence

"god, you are so fucking drunk right now," he huffed to himself, leading the boy who was completely out of it to the table where the rest of the gang sat. he tripped on his own feet, causing him to nearly crash into the table.

alex's head shot up. "a—andy?"

-

"ay 'bug," his grin was uncontained as he fell into the booth next to her, courtesy of ashley giving up on trying to keep him steady and letting go of his waist.

all alex could smell was liquor, everywhere. it was like the mere smell of it was clinging to the green sweater he wore and poured out of his mouth with the string of mumbles and curses as he struggled to get situated. at first, it was unidentifiable, because it was alcohol, and most alcohol smelled the same, right? like pure, bitter gasoline and rubbing alcohol.

except that, when he leaned in to tell her a half-formed joke, a ghost's hands ran up her spine, causing her to lose herself in a memory she didn't want to remember.

she knew that smell, and what it did to people. what it did to her.

"scotty..." she moaned out, trailing into a pathetic whimper. her side was throbbing from its impact with the tile floor of the kitchen. she had been making dinner for herself. he wasn't supposed to be back for hours.

yet there he was, towering above her, a hand on the counter to support his body that was beginning to sway. the look in his eyes was foggy, concealed by beer and whatever else he had been drinking that night, but she had grown so used to this that the veil over his emotions meant nothing to her.

he was angry, his eyes bleeding away from the darkest of greens to a white-hot fire stoked by a mass consumption of alcohol the previous hours.

even worse, his anger was directed at her.

"scotty," his name became a plea, but she knew. she knew she wasn't getting out of it this time.

"alex!" someone was calling her name. "alex!"

a steady hand touched her shoulder. instantly, she jerked away, a spike of fear pumping itself into her already erratic heart. when she looked over, cc's eyes scanned her face with some sort of parental worry. on a normal occasion, it would warm her heart. not tonight, though. her fight or flight mode was quickly kicking in, and she needed out.

andy was still drunk as hell next to her, giggling and letting his head loll backwards as he did so. jinxx was forcing him to knock back two glasses of water in an attempt to rebalance his blood-alcohol content.

her anxiety was climbing up and down her throat and taking root in her lungs, her heart, and any other place it could get its filthy hands on. she was no longer used to being on the verge of passing out, heart thumping so quickly it could beat a rabbit in a race. all she could manage was to pull her legs as close to her chest as she could get them and move her eyes frantically, scanning the table for a way out. when there was nothing to be found, an invisible hand curled around her throat and dug in, eager for its meal.

"please," she croaked weakly, not noticing the tears that were flooding her eyes and spilling down her panic-stricken face. what ran across her mind in that moment was please please somebody get me out i'm sorry weak weak weak weak please i'm begging please please-