A woman was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

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Random**~||Updated Almost Every Day||~** Hey guys! Here I will be posting some of the greatest jokes, quotes, phrases... I have ever encountered. They may be long, they may be short but I guarantee that they will make you laugh! LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDIC...