South Park One Shots

Surviving Purge

Cartman

He didn't really know what to think, it was his first time Purging after all. But he went along with this dudes plan anyway.

"Okay, so I was thinking we go after this kid named Kyle. He's a Jew, ever heard of him?"

The killer nodded, "heard of him. Let's end him then."

Cartman smiled, this is going to be great.

When they approached the Jews house it was boarded up. Cartman walked up to the front door and started to kick at the boards slowly breaking them.

His new acquaintance waited patiently before clearing his throat and talking. "I'll be right back, I got something that can get rid of those boards."

The dude disappeared and repeated before Cartman could get two boards down. "Move." He didn't give Cartman much consideration before pushing him out of the way and launching a axe at the wood.

He can't just fucking push me like that! But before Cartman could open his mouth the guy had taken care of all the boards blocking entrance.

With one right kick the door to Kyles home flew open. And what hey found left Cartman enraged.

"That fucking Jew! He fucking left?! God damn pussy! Not facing me like a man! I'll get him, next Purge or the one after that. I don't care, but that fucking Jew will be mine!" He raged.

The other boy seemed unimpressed. "Got anyone else?" He simply asked.

Cartman shut up and thought back to his list. "Me. Garrison, he's been tormenting me for years. First elementary then middle school and then he fucking shows up at my highschool. I want him gone."

"Understandable." The masked man looked over at Cartman. "Lead the way."

When they arrived at Mr. Garrisons house they were happily met with a single light left on in the bedroom. "He's home, lets do this." The hat kid said.

"I got Mr. Garrison, go into the kitchen and get two knives." The stranger was already preparing to kick in the door.

Get two knives? Whatever. As soon as the dude kicked the door in Cartman raced for the kitchen and grabbing two knives like he was supposed to.

When he walked to when he saw the light he was met with Mr. Garrison with his hands up and the criminal pointing the gun at his head. "Up against the wall." He shot one of Mr. Garrison's arms when he didn't move fast enough.

"Fuck! God, you bastards!" He got out of the chair he was sitting in and up against one of the walls. Cartman stood there not sure exactly what to do. He'd get the next guy, he had never saw the famous Purger in real life. Or at all, just a few pictures on tv and one video of him torturing a banker.

The ringleader grabbed one of the knives out of Cartman's hands and walked over to Mr. Garrison. Without warning he grabbed his arm and pressed it against he wall stabbing him through the hand.

Mr. Garrison let out a cry of pain, "what the fuck?!" He grabbed at the blue masked villain using his uninjured arm to punch the taller boy. But from that angle it didn't make much of a difference and he was quickly over powered and his other hand was stabbed and stuck to the wall.