Scars. |✔️|

Chapter 13: Just Maybe

Saturday, July 6
Los Angeles, CA
10:36 AM

I wake up to the bright sun coming through my windows. I can feel James still in my arms and I'm happy he didn't just get up in the middle of the night and leave. Unlike some people. I gently try to remove his arm off my waist, but when I try to move he only pulls me closer to him.

"Jame, let go. I have to go to bathroom," I whisper knowing he isn't fully asleep.

With that James lets go and rolls back on the other side of the bed. I walk to the bathroom and complete my usual hygiene routine like washing my face, brushing my hair, brushing my teeth, etc.

I quietly walk back into my bedroom thinking that he is still asleep, but when I walk back James is sitting up and trying his best not to look at me.

"Good morning," I say sitting next to him on my bed.

"Good morning," he says with sleep still in his voice.

"You okay? I mean I know you're not, but any better?" I ask.

"Not really, but I know it's gonna get better. It has to because if it doesn't, I'ma go crazy," he slightly chuckles.

"I know," I respond while laying my head on his shoulder.

"Thank you Liyah. I don't know what I would've done if I didn't have you yesterday," he says slowly pulling my onto his lap.

When he pulls me onto his lap my heart starts to beat a thousand miles per hour. I know I won't let anything happen, but since I am straddling his lap I can feel his...

"You good?" he asks laughing at how nervous I am.

"Yeah... I'm... um.. I'm okay," I say struggling to respond.

James continues to chuckle then, he puts in hand on my chin pulling my face closer to his. We share a long, heated kiss and before I know it his tongue is fighting against mine for dominance.  He eventually wins and his hand slowly start to make its way up my shirt. When his hand lands on my bra strap I quickly grab his arm.

"No, we can't. I'm... not ready," I mumble still face to face with him.

"I know. It's okay," he says.

"Doesn't mean It'll never happen, right?" he adds with a smirk.

"Right," I say shyly.

The fact that I just said that one day I might have sex with him makes all kinds of thoughts start to flow through my brain. I don't think that I get myself to have sex with him. Not because I'm a virgin and don't know what the hell is supposed to be going on, but because I can't stand to look at the physical representation of what I've been through my entire life. Nevertheless letting him see it.

I'm also second guessing our relationship because I don't even know what our relationship is. I don't even know how relationships are supposed work. The closest thing to a relationship that I've seen are on movies where the girl gets dumped by her cheating ex and a new handsomer guy comes and "steals her heart". Aka BULLSHIT is what I like to call it.

"What's on your mind baby girl? I know that face. That's you're thinking face," James asks with a concerned look and a warm smile. 

"Um... I need to ask you something," I say trying to look down but James pulls my chin up.

"What do you need ask your little southern boy?" he asks in a really bad southern accent causing me to laugh.

"What are we?" I say causing there to be a sudden silence.

"What do you want to be?" he finally asks.

"I don't know. I mean we literally kiss each other everyday, sleep over each other's places almost everyday, and we both function like a couple," I say being bolder than I usually am, but I actually didn't mind being this bold. It keeps me from lying to him.

"Okay well. Miss Aaliyah Taylor, would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" he asks causing me to blush hard.

"I would love to. But just so you know I, honest to God, don't know how to relationship," I say giving him a big hug.

"How to relationship?" he says laughing. "You'll be fine. Just be you," he says as he kisses my cheek.

"Well I guess that should be easy," I say still blushing.

Flashback

"One day you'll find someone that loves you for you, LiyBug," my mom said as she combed through my long thick black hair.

"Does daddy love you for you mommy?" I ask my mother curious of what her response would be.

"Um... well... you know what? Your father and I's relationship is a little complicated. But once upon a time he did. We used to be happy all the time, but people grow up and apart. It just happens," she said sighing.

"Well that sad. I wish people never had to grow up," I say sadly.

"If you never grow up, you'll never leave the house silly," my mom responds with a small laugh.

"I don't need to leave. You'll always be right with me. If you leave, then I leave with you," I say naively.

"Yeah..."

Flashback over

My mom left a week after that conversation. I was so young back then. I never thought my mother would've left me with a monster, but I guess I was wrong.

However, one thing my mom wasn't wrong about was someone loving you for you. Now I don't know if James loves me, but I feel like he does. That just might be my naive 9 year old self coming out. But I know I have a feeling of love toward him. Maybe he does too.

Just maybe.

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I know this chapter was short, but I wanted to get this part of the book published so the drama can start to happen. Those chapter will be long and take longer to write.

Also did you guys see the new cover and the new way I start my chapters. I wanted to spice it up a little bit 😂.

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and make sure to vote, comment, share, and follow me for more!

Stay tuned for Chapter 14... coming soon!

- Nadia ❤️