Eighteen - Sherlock

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[This chapter has a serious trigger warning! Please proceed with caution]

Eighteen

Sherlock

I'm home.

I knew John would be excited to see me, but I didn't expect this kind of reaction from him. He looks like absolute rubbish—he has dark purple circles under his eyes and it looks like he hasn't gone outside since I left. His face his pale and his thinner than he was before. He needs a shave . . .

"I thought—"

"I know." I interrupt.

He starts crying—actually, crying is an understatement. He's sobbing.

I never meant to cause him so much pain. I'm sorry for that.

When he pulls away he looks angry. I can't tell if he's mad that he's crying or that I'm gone, even though I'm almost certain it's the latter.

"You," he stops crying almost immediately. "You have no idea what you put me through."

I open my mouth to talk but he speaks before I can.

"You have no idea what you put me through."

"I know," I say. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make it better. I was your best friend. I deserved to know you were alive. Even a phone call, Sherlock. Is that too much to ask for, a simple phone call?"

There are tears in both of our eyes now.

He rolls up his sleeves to reveal all of the cuts on his forearms. Some of them have faded into scars by now, but the rest of them are fresh—either still bleeding or just scabbed over.

"I did this because of you." He says.

And those six words are enough to break my heart in two.


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