Not over yet - Zanessa

Chapter 2 - Zac's Issues

Zac was tired, he's filming a movie where he's a serial killer and, despite the footage were going well, it was demanding a lot from him. Ted Bundy's character was arguably the most challenging role he had ever played, and knowing that, Zac spent almost twenty-four hours working on him.

After another day of work, Zac just wanted to go to the hotel and rest. His plan was to take a good shower, eat something, and lie down to watch something on TV until he fall asleep. This was his plan, but some people might had other ideas. The rest of the cast invited him to go with them to drink something and, although in the first stage he rejected, he realized that it was only him that's missing and decided to go. His eyes weighed on him, the footage is always demanding, but this film,  the fact that is something completely different from what he had done until then, was looked with more professionalism than ever.

They arrived at a bar in Kentucky and quickly he was recognized, several people asked to take pictures with him, autographs, kisses and hugs. Although he was already accustomed to this behavior of the fans, that day he was particularly tired and asked his colleagues if they could leave and go somewhere else, where they could be more comfortable. Everyone came and, after a lot of arguing, they decided to buy some beers and go to a private room in the hotel so they could be together. There were directors, producers and cast members but, although he was surrounded by people, Zac felt alone. He had always been very attached to his family, and spending so much time away from home was becoming particularly difficult, but professional life force him to do that. He was drowned in his thoughts and homesickness when Lily, the actress who was going to star with him, sat next to him.

- Hey Zac! Are you okay? You're so quiet here.

- Yes, yes, I was only here thinking about how we have the best job in the world, but the sacrifices we have to make... - he said, already touched by alcohol.

- Well, I see... - Lily said - you know, sometimes i would love to be unknown for a while, to have a normal life.

- Yeah, exactly, but I also know that I end up having the dream life of millions of people!

-Yes, that's true, we are lucky - said the young woman - but after this film I hope you have a good surprise, I think you are playing a fantastic role.

- Thank you - Zac said - you know, I've always put my career ahead of everyone and sometimes I wonder if that was the right choice. All the other dreams I had, the trips I wanted to do and didn't do, the relationships I lost ... my career always came first.

- I think everyone realize that, Zac. Because of what you work and what you do, you deserve to be happy. But you know, for example, I always work keeping in mind that, in a few years, I can look back and don't regret the choices I made and the course I took, not only professional but also in my private life. For me, this is the most important.

- I agree with you, and the truth is that there's a huge thing that I regret, but I've never been good at expressing my feelings and now I look back and realize what I've lost. But what is done is done, you can't change the past.

- Yes, the past you can't change, but you can change the future. And your future depends on your choices and what you decide to do, having complete control of your future is the best thing life has to give you - Lily said almost poetically - but ... we're not talking about your career, right?

- Also, but not only .... there are people that I lost in the way and that I will always love, people that will always have a place in my heart. 

People started to leave, only Zac and Lily were left in the room.

- Don't want to be snoopy, but are you talking about someone in particular? - She asked innocently.

- Yes - said Zac, being full honest - i'm talking of Vanessa, of Ashley, of friends I lost cause I didn't call them.

- Deep down, i already knew -  said Lily - but as I told you, the past can't be changed, but the future can always change.

- I'm not so sure about that ... Ashley and I still talk occasionally, but it's not what it used to be ... as for Vanessa, we have not talked in a while, practically since we broke up...

- And why don't you devote yourself to the friendships you've lost? Send a message, call them, go out with them. It's all a call away!

- If it were that easy ... Ashley is married, Vanessa is almost married, and I end up waiting for an opportunity that will not show up again, there are trains that only pass once.

- You still love her, don't you? - Lily asked, although she already knew the answer.

- I do - he said - for years I thought I've moved on but every time I'm with a girl, I compared her to Vanessa. More recently, since my last relationship ended and I've started seeing my closest friends to establish a family, I realized that she is the love of my life, that it was with her that I wanted to stay, to live - confessed Zac - I regret the decisions I've made but I was a kid, and me and Vanessa, even if we were meant to be, were very young, it was hard to do right back then ... but there's a reason I've never had a long relationship since her and for a long time I never wanted to admit it.

- Then why can't you try again? Giving up can't be part of your dictionary!

- Impossible, - said Zac - she's in a long relationship, it's love what they feel for each other and I don't want to get in the middle of the relationship, I don't have that right. It won't be long before he will marry her, and on that day, part of me will die. And that is what revolts me, to know that I should have asked her to marry me, but because I was immature, I lost the woman of my life. I'll live my life always with regret.

- Life is a box of surprises - Lily said - But you must know how to accept her happiness. The truth is, if you really want her back and if you think that you're made for each other, you have to fight for her. What you both had was something unique and magical and trust me, for a girl, that feeling never disappears. Well Zac, I'm super tired and tomorrow we have another day ahead, I'm going to sleep.

- Thank you for the conversation Lily, I've had all this mixed emotions inside me for some time and it feels good to finally express what I feel - Zac said, saying good-bye with a kiss on the cheek, then up to the bedroom, still half dizzy of alcohol.