Not over yet - Zanessa

Chapter 9 - I still love him

The engagement lunch had been yesterday and, without knowing how, Vanessa and Austin were able to escape the papparazzis and get home without any major problem. They had  woken up around lunch time, and Austin was feeling triumphant. Although he enjoyed cooking, he didn't like being in the kitchen for a long time, but that day he decided to made a special lunch, just for the two of them. Vanessa, however, was not that happy. In addition to feeling that this marriage wasn't the right step to take, she knew that there was still an argument to have with the future husband. She thought that it would be better if she let this days pass, and then she would finally talk to him and throw everything out.

- Babe, I was thinking about making a lunch just for the two of us and watch a movie together, what do you think?

- Yeah, sure.... Do you want any help?

- No, no! You're going to be my wife, I want you to remember this time with the greatest of smiles and I don't want you to cook. Don't worry - Austin said.  

- Hey, calm down!Just because we're getting married, it doesn't mean that we have to change things, Austin. Everything is working so far, I hope it stays the same.

- All right, all right, the princess is rigth! But now you can go and I'll take care of everything, love, really.

Vanessa left the kitchen and went to the bedroom. She felt she had to explode, but she managed to control herself. She needed to let everything out, but she didn't feel comfortable talking about all the feelings that were into her.  Then, she decided to go to the bottom of the wardrobe and pick up a box that existed there. The box was black, relatively large and was padlocked. She took the key that was hidden on the bedside table and opened the lock. Inside, in that box, was what left of her life with Zac: photos, letters, tickets, necklaces, all that remained of their relationship were in that box.  As she watched the different items, tears streamed down her face. Vanessa knew what those tears meant, but she also knew that sometimes opportunities only happen once. For a moment, she prayed for a sign, no matter how small, to let her know if there would still be any chances with Zac, if they could still be happy. She knew that at that moment she was with Austin and that she was going to marry him, but love is not rational and reason isn't always attached to the heart. She saw vacation photos that they spent together, parties that they went and then, she lost herself in memories of trips they made, in moments they spent together, until was interrupted by Austin's voice calling her from the kitchen.

- Babe, your sister is here to talk to you!

- OK thank you! I'm coming down, one second.  

 She packed everything inside the box, closed it again and put it in the same place. Austin was not aware of that box, and Vanessa hoped he would never find it. She went down the stairs and saw Stella sitting in the couch, in the living room. As soon as Stella saw her, she gave her a look that made Vanessa realize something was wrong.

- Hey, Stell. Is something wrong?

- Maybe, but can we talk somewhere further from here, so Austin will not hear us?

- Yes, of course, but where?

- Come with me, I promise it will be quick.

Vanessa told Austin she was going to leave but it was fast and she got in the car with her sister. The trip was quick, they stopped at a cafe that Vanessa, although she wasn't far from home, had never seen.

- I brought you here to make us more comfortable ... I have something to ask you - Stella said.

-Oh yes? What it is?

- Vanessa, are you sure you want to get married? - Said Stella, being direct.

- You brought me here for this? Stell, I accepted the proposal, if I didn't want to marry I had rejected it.

- Then explain to me why you don't look happy? Why do you look like you're doing someone a favor by getting married? 

- Me? Stella, I don't know what you mean by that, but I'm happy, I'm going to marry a wonderful man who supports me in everything, intelligent and has well defined life goals, what more can I ask for?

- Love ... That's what you can and should ask! Nessa, I have known you since I was born, you are my sister, I know when you are saying the truth and when you're lying...

- But, what do you mean by love?

- Nessa, your reaction to the proposal made me realize that something was wrong. And after talking to Ashley I'm even more certain.

- Oh! Everything's explained now, it was Ashley ... Stell, it was a normal situation, I was caught off guard by the proposal and didn't know how to react, that's all. Ash really likes making movies on her head - Vanessa laughed.

- Are they really movies?" Or is she seeing something that only you don't want to see?  

- But all this just because of my reaction? Believe me Stell, I'm going to marry Austin and I'm very happy!

- Seriously? No one would say ... Since we started this conversation you haven't said once that you loved him ... It's not worth fooling me, if you want to fool yourself, it's okay, but don't try to fool me...

Realizing that she wouldn't be able to fool his sister anymore, Vanessa surrendered. 

- Was that obvious?

- Well, you're an excellent actress, that helped you at lunch yesterday, but for those who know you well, we realize you weren't happy ... What's wrong?  

- Well, I don't know how to begin - a tear began to trickle down his face - Austin is incredible, he loves me and makes me feel loved, but he doesn't fill me completely, you know? I really like him, really, but I'm not so sure if he's the man I want to marry...

- In a normal situation I would say it was the normal insecurities of a bride, but in this case, what do you think it is?

- I don't know... I miss that love that made my heart beat faster, that left me speechless, that was everything for me...

- So it's him, isn't it? - Said Stella, beginning to understand- you still love him, don't you?

- I don't know Stell ... What we had doesn't disappear, it was love, the purest that existed, and I feel like I can make a mistake by marrying Austin. If only I could have one more chance...

- An opportunity?

- Yes... I just want another opportunity to try to figure out if Zac is the man of my life as I think it will be, but I know it will never happen...  

- Only you can answer that question, and only you can know how to answer it ... If you think it's best not getting married, you should talk to Austin quickly, he doesn't deserve to be fooled - Stella advised.

- I know, but I'm so confused...  

- We are here for you always, no matter what decision you make - and as she said this, she stood up and pointed at the clock - look at the time, I have to take you home!

The trip home was made almost in silence, both knew that at that time there wasn't much to say. They both knew what is the right thing to do, but Stella, even realizing that her sister was in a difficult situation, knew that she was going to do the right thing.

- Hey - said Stella, as Vanessa got out of the car - true love never dies, sweetheart. Fight for what you want, as you always did, dad is looking for you and showing you the way.