Bleeding love

My name is luke robert hemmings

Beep beep . My alarm goes off and I wake up here is a nother day to hate me life more i bet your wondering why my life is so bad . Well my name is luke robert hemmings and I well have a big problem I love someone who doesn't know I exist and my dad well hates me because am gay . My mum loves me thow all lot but if she tries to stop my dad he hurts her so I take the pain for  her and we are trying to get away but we have to wait for my mum to get more money and we are gonna get the hell out off this hell hole . But since my life kinda sucks I do stuff that I relly shouldn't like I cut on a daily basis and I puke my guts out every time I eat something so ya am not the most charming person . And at school I well umm people don't relly notice me and I like it that way I only have 3 friends . Which I know isint that bad but no one relly like us . My friends names are Ashton Irwin . Michael Clifford . Calum Hood.  But anyway I get up off the bed and go to the bathroom time for my moring cut ya I know it must sound pretty bad that I have a moring cut time but you know I just can't help it ok. I open the bathroom door that is attached to my room and slow close it and walk over to the sink open the cabniet and take out a razor and pull up my shirt and put the razor to my rib and cut it 1 for not being perfect . 2 for letin your mum get hurt. 3 for lettin you dad treat you like shit. 4 for being gay. 5 for falling in love with niall james horan . I watch my cuts bleed for a little while and then put some bandages on it . Ok yes niall james horan is the man am in love with but you know like I said he doesn't know I exist and am just a retard anyway don't see why he would like me anyway and every girl is in love with him he is so straight it not evan funny I mean relly . I walk out the bathroom and get dressed in a white t shit and black skinny jeans and a pair of Nikes .       I fix my hair and walk down the stairs and out the door my dad is still asleep and my mum is at work and I have to go to school I walk to school it helps me clear my head for a little while you know .           At school.   When I finally reach school I just go straight to my locer and get my books and go to class I don't like eating breckfest knowin I will just push my fingers down my throat and throw it all up .       The day goes by relly slow I find out that niall isn't here do day no wonder every one is being all moddy well whatever .     School is over and I walk out and start walking home and when I get there and open the door a fist hits my face and I fall to the the floor in pain and here it goes the daily beating I get from my lovely father .      He grabs my up by my shirt and slams me in to the wall and hits me in the face Were off kissing some gaywad you little worthless prick . More pain hits me as his fits hits me hardder and harrder . Answer me you little basterd . He hit me again . I screamed out a No I wasn't I wasn't I promise . He throws me to the floor and kicks me a few times and then stop he bends down and gets in my face and says you are a disgusting little prick and I hate you with a burning fucking passion go clean your self up before your mum gets home . I get up and drag myself up stairs and go to the bathroom and take a shower and then lie on my bed and cry I relly whish my dad wouldn't hate me and that my mum and dad could be happy together but no and it all cause off me and my stupid sexuality . I get up and slowly make my way to the bathroom and reach for the only thing that will make me feel better the cool wonderful feeling of a razor blade against my skin .     Well know you know how it is to be me for a day great life right ?