Bleeding love

I whish

Nialls pov            Niall get up and study the bible now . My mom yelled ugggh all ready . I get up and walk to the bathroom and wash my face it Saturday so no school yay . I walk out of the bathroom lay back in bed and start reading as I was reading my mind driffed off to mine and lukes conversation yesterday.  He understands he understands that I love him but can't and he goes throw the same shit it is relly unreal that we could have just a bleeding love so know I have been listening to that song none stop .           When my time to stop reading the bible came all these emotions hit me about luke and my life and holy fuckin shit my life is just full of I whish . I whish my step dad wouldn't beat me . I whish my wouldn't care if we were gay. I whish my brother wouldn't have locked him self away. I whish I wouldn't cut . I whish I could have luke in my life .    Affter all that thinking I find myself in tears and they keep comeing and comeing to the point were I just can't take no more off this stupid fucked up world but I can't commit suicide cause then I wouldn't be able to see luke.  But I do how ever get up and go to the bathroom and pick up my little friend that helps me clear my mind . So here we are again . I say out loud I put the blade against ny skhin but instead of just cuts this time I fine myself carving I whish on to the outside off my arm .   Holy shit that a lot of blood but I can't to anything but watch the blood come out I feel sick like am gonna fall over and then I do with a loud bang Owwwww !!!! I scream cause I hit my head on the tub and then suddenly everything thing around my starts to fade and I here the bathroom door open and then everything gose black