Reattached

Chapter Fourteen

"Colby?" Sam asks when we finally find a bench in the park. I look down at him and smile as his head rest on my shoulder.

"Yes Sam?"

"What is the future going to look like? Do you think I'll still be yours? Do you think I'll be able to walk and stuff?" Sam says moving his head to look at me. I smile and hold his hand.

"Sam I think the future is going to be bright. I see us being with each other still, hopefully married, I see you having a brand new leg and we'll continue YouTube with each other and get back to exploring."

"I would like that." Sam says moving his thumb over my hand.

"So would I. I also see us in our own house. A big one, right on the ocean and our room will have this giant balcony that shows the ocean. It will be amazing. I couldn't picture a world without you."

"I always wonder how you managed to stay with me. I mean from best friends, to pranks and depression, to broken leg and then cancer you have always managed to stay with me." Sam says. I look at him and smile but the word depression hit me.

It reminded me that I have voices in my head and I've only mentioned that once to Sam. I could tell all my energy left and my smile has definitely dropped.

"Baby what's wrong?" Sam says putting his hand on my knee.

"Um, the word depression, it kinda hit me hard I guess you could say." I tell him as I look down feeling ashamed of having voices in my head and being used as a robot basically.

"Do you want to talk about it Colbs?" Sam asks. I look at him and I could feel the tears in my eyes.

"I just.....I was such a dick during the prank. I never realized I hurt you so much and when I did it hurt me. It really did and these voices.......god these voices started and they won't go away, they won't. When you left that night and didn't come back......

I thought you were dead or so angry at me you ran away completely and didn't want to be my friend anymore. The voices told me I was right and you left me......

Then you were in the hospital. I spent every second in that hospital but it was hard. It was hard sleeping, it was hard to eat anything, it was hard to leave that room and the voices made it worse.

They constantly said things and made me do things and when you were dying........I - Sam remember when I showed up at the hospital with a bleeding shoulder and we told each other our feelings?"

"I do." Sam says.

"Remember when I said I almost did something stupid and you told me to be quiet because I was crying.....you then got a nurse to help my shoulder."

"I do. I never asked you what happened and what caused it. I just knew you needed it cleaned up."

"Sam........when you were about to die I couldn't handle it. The voices got too much. They always told me it was my fault. Everything was my fault. They told me to cut and go drink and that's what I would do.

But when you were only hours away from dying they told me to leave the hospital. They told me to climb the tallest building. They told me to go onto the roof because everything that was happening was because of me.

That you would be better alone. So when they told me to go to the edge I did but I sat down. When Elton kept texting me and texting me I knew it wasn't going to be good.

And when I checked my phone once the last message went off, the message saying you died.......it pushed me over the edge Sam. It pushed the voices to be louder.

So I did what they told me to. I took the gun out of the bag and put it to my head. My phone started going off more. A janitor came to the roof because he saw me climb up the stairs........if he didnt push me in time the bullet wouldn't of hit my shoulder.....

It would of gone through my head. I told you when you were sleeping that I couldn't live without you and I wasnt lying but the voices. They hurt sometimes.

They finally left when you woke up but when you were getting surgery for the second time they came back. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my puffy sleepy face and they came back. Telling me I was pathetic.

Sam...........the voices leave when you are here but there are times they come and go but without you......I wouldn't be here today. They would drive me over the edge to the point I would literally go over a edge." I say staring at my hands. I feel tears to down my cheeks and I look at Sam.

"I was shattered Sam. From the very beginning of all of this heartache. I became shattered but with you the pieces got reattached and I don't want you to leave me again or I'll probably be heartbroken......I'll probably......be demolished." I say looking at Sam.

I stare at him as tears roll down my cheek and my hands start shaking. I stare at him and remember all the times we laughed and had fun. I stare at him and remember the first time I looked into his eyes and knew I loved him.

I stare at him and realize that without him I would be heartbroken, well more like demolished. He is my rock and without him I wouldn't be me but maybe there's a time in life when you need to learn how being demolished is and how to take care of your self...

The end.

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Wanna third book?

If so comment yes.

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Plans if third book happens:

It'll be called Demolished if you haven't realized yet.

This book will have some surprises at the beginning that I won't give away but Colby goes through a lot and he learns how to take care of himself before he can take care of someone else.

Obviously you can tell they may or may not stay together for a little bit....