Some Drawing And The Book Of Me. Isabella.

scared.

What are you scared of?

When I was younger I was scared of the movie monsters Inc 😂

But about a month ago something happend. And I have had nightmares about it.

About a month ago my mom got drunk. She came into my room and sat on the floor and watched me sleep and then left for about 5 minutes and came back and did it again for about 5 times. Then she went into the guest room and crawled on the floor. I followed her and asked her if she was ok and she pushed me very lightly and told me to go back to sleep. I went back to my room and closed the door so if she came back i would hear it. I cried because I have never seen my mom like this and I was scared.
No. She didn't hurt me or say anything crazy. It was just wierd..
The next day she said she was sorry and that it would never happen again.

But now every time I see her make a drink or drink wine at dinner I get scared.  I have visions of what could happen.

I have started being scared of her but only at night. After dinner that's when I become uncomfortable and very un easy.

I know people have other crazy tramatic stories they could tell and that this looks stupid but I'm scared.

I don't know why but during the day and in the morning she's my mom and in the night it's like shes someone else .

When I was younger I was scared of the dark and monsters under my bed.

But when I reached 10 or 11 I started being scared of reality. Being alone in loud places. Abandoned.  Trapped. My future. Me sucking at math. People rejecting me.

All this kinda went along with my anxiety. 

I just want to know if it gets any easier. 

I don't want to be afraid of her. I love her. But I am.

I feel comfortable talking about this on here because no one here lives with me. Or could tell anyone any of this. No one here could come up to my face and judge me for any of this or hurt me. So thank you for that.

(Except like 2 people but I trust them more than anyone)

I really aprictaete you guys for reading my books and stuff. It makes me feel aprictaeted and loved to be honest.

So thank you. For real.