he created me ᵛᵐᵒⁿ

chapter 8

¤"maybe I shouldn't have" that barely came out as a whisper¤

As soon as Namjoon walked out of the room with the remote Taehyung just sat there listening the singsong voices of the cartoon characters on TV. He didn't want to think about getting called disgusting on television, yet his mind kept fluttering to that situation.

He honestly was ugly compared to the beautiful delicate features, while his were more sharp and rougher around the edges. He liked to think that all that mattered was inside and that he was pretty inside, but from his short existence he knew that that was a lie. No one ever got to know somebody based sole off of there personality, they had to look somewhat decent.

His shorts exposed a particularly harsh scar on his knee that ran up to his hips. He touched over the pinkish flesh wondering if he could ever get them to go away.

It was bad enough that he was calling himself ugly, but random strangers was telling him it through the silver screen. The soft tears gently rolled down the cheeks of the monster as he though about the fact that he would never fit in with this society.

Before he knew it more and more tears dropped down from his eyelashes onto his lap, his breaths go more harsh and inconsistent and the slight shaking of his knees. He felt really bad and not alright. He felt really weird and his chest was super tight.

He collapsed onto the couch and curled into a fetal position that only reflected his innocence. As he cried and shook like a leaf he listened to the cartoons until everything was settled.

A feeling of relief relaxed over him as he was able to calm himself down, alone. He didn't need anyone because everyone that he has ever met never really appreciated him for his heart. He thought everything through and came up with that maybe people think his heart was ugly, just as ugly as his appearance.

No that couldn't be right, Namjoon said that he could be beautiful on the inside and that he made him in his own image. Except he made him ugly on the outside like how he is on the inside.

Hours passed by in this way, where he was taking some time to do some self reflecting and coming up with the "nothing makes sense" motto.

Eventually the natural sunlight dimmed and turned to dusk and then to darkness.

He still sat alone and by this time the timer on the television went off and left him with a black screen.

He managed to pull a throw blanket across his legs as he continued to look blankly out into the dark room. He didn't know what time it was or how long he had been standing there, but when he noticed Namjoon sitting on a chair looking at him with a perplexed expression it startled him.

Taehyung looked back at the scientist as they made eye contact for several moments before Namjoon let out a soft sigh "maybe I shouldn't have" that barely came out as a whisper. That was enough for Taehyung to realize what he had meant.

The tears started again and the soft sobs left his dry red lips. He didn't want to go back to nothing, he may not value his life, but now that he had it he didn't want to give it away so easily.

Namjoon watched his little creature curl upon himself his knees coming to his chest and his hair getting wet with his salty tears. "no, no, no" he chanted silently.

Namjoon sighed and stood up from his chair and walked to the couch. Sitting down on the floor in front of Tae he looked at him with a soft straight mouth. He put a hand on the head he had fabricated and moved the hair off of his forehead. He felt guilty, he should have known that his creature would need extra attention that he was not able to provide.

"Maybe it would be better" he said softly to Tae petting his fluffy hair and moving to wipe the tears from his eyes. Tae calmed a little, but the choked whimpers and tears never ceased to flow.

"but...but I don't want to" he said taking several gasps for air his body shaking with the force.

"I know, I know you don't want to, but look at yourself. I don't want you to live like this" Joon murmured into the creatures face.

"but I don't want to leave you" Taehyung said "you created me"

Namjoon looked down at the wrecked state of the creature and how genuine he said that he wanted to stay no matter how badly it hurt. What hurt Namjoon was the fact that he was loosing his edge. If he was only a month younger he wouldn't have even thought about Tae's feelings. He probably wouldn't have even gone to check on him. He would have used him for his own glory. Not to get it wrong he was still going to use him for advancing the sciences, but he can do that with a little sympathy every now and then.

Namjoon sat on the edge of the couch and continued to stroke the poor things head. He pulled Taehyung's head onto his lap. He lightly rubbed his shoulders in a comforting manor. "okay, okay, I wont until you ask me" Namjoon muttered.

"okay" Taehyung said calming into an exhausted sleep.

Namjoon sat holding Tae lightly moving his hair with the tips of his fingers. He was so beautiful with all of his scars. He looked even more beautiful sleeping, all of the worry easing from his face. It was so unreal, he felt so guilty for creating such an innocent thing.

He flicked a piece of hair onto his eyelid. He scrunched his eyebrows closer together before relaxing his facial muscles.

He carefully picked up the thing and walked to his bedroom setting him down into his ocean of comforters. He needed to get back to his work and didn't want to deal with the night terrors. Taehyung said he didn't get any in his room so maybe it is a comfort thing. I created him so I assume he feels safe in the place where I sleep.