Heavy guitars woke him up.
At first confused Gerard jumped to his feet, but when he realized it was just his alarm clock with American Idiot by Green Day for ringtone, he climbed right back into bed. The following ten minutes he will spend searching for a reason to get up.
He knew he wouldn't think of one but he will have no choice other then to get up and go downstairs and eventually to school.
So he did. Without a hint of enthusiasm he walked into his kitchen and sat down at his usual spot at his table with his mom and brother.
How are you today Gerard? - his mom asked, seemingly politely, but in reality coldly and without any real interest in his answer
He looked up at her and stared in her eyes angrily for a few moments.
But he didn't answer.
And she didn't care.
So he got up, poured his untouched cereal in the kitchen sink and walked back upstairs.
He felt a little better when he was alone. Sometimes he wished he could always be alone. Not that he would ever say it out loud tho, maybe partially because he knew he didn't really wish to be alone, as much as he wished to be with someone who wouldn't make him want to be alone, if that made any sense.
One way or another, he knew he wouldn't be alone for long.
He has to go to school. And right now that is, because he is late.
So, he took his school bag and walked out of the house not waiting for Mikey.
They never walk to school together. It's been so long since they've acted like brothers that it was hard to say who avoided whom.
Either way, Gerard had more important problems to deal with now, at least if you asked him. He couldn't find his headphones. He never goes anywhere without them. Especialy not to school.
He thought about walking back home to get them, but he couldn't force himself to go back inside. I guess ignoring everybody will be a bit harder today.
But than again not that hard. Gerard was a champion at ignoring others.
Even before he turned left on the intersection that would lead him to his bus stop he heard their disgusting mindless laughter. What a great way to start the day.
There's our little freak! - he heard them yelling
As soon as he was close enough, he got a punch in the stomach. It wasn't a serious attack, not the kind of thing that would injure him, or even hurt him, in fact to a passerby it would look like a joking punch between friends, not an unusual occurrence between highschoolers.
But Gerard wasn't a passerby, so he knew the nature of it was far less friendly.
This didn't worry him too much, he knew they wouldn't do anything serious to him here, in plane sight.
And he was right, it wasn't long before he was left alone again.
He was actually fine as he was at that moment, standing in the crisp morning air, ten steps away from everybody, listening to traffic, cafés opening, people chatting. Listening to the sounds of the world breathing.
Sadly that lasted only for a short time. His brother Mikey had to ruin that by showing up.
As he was passing by Gerard he did nothing to show he noticed him except carelessly pushing him aside while passing by.
He did however acknowledge his friends. In a much warmer or at least friendlier manner than Gerard had been enjoying for the past few years.
And in retrospect, he couldn't pinpoint the moment it stopped upsetting him.
Once again he was snapped from his thoughts.
What's up with your freak brother today?
What do you mean? - Mikey turned around to look at Gerard and Gerard could already see his least favourite expression on Mikeys face. While someone else might look at him and see amusement or even happiness in his smirk, Gerard saw nothing but pure malice.
He's not listening to one of his gay bands today, didn't you notice?
Gerard looked at them, mildly surprised, not at the redundent insult about bands he liked being gay as that was a wildly popular slur for just about anything, but at the fact they would notice such a minor thing as him not having earphones in. In a different world he might've been glad in a way, but in this one he was unsure what to make of it. Nothing good tho, that much he knew.
Snapping out of his slightly random thought he averted his attention back to them.
To anybody else they would look like a couple of high school students, but to him they looked like predators ready to attack.
Although he knew that was his mind being ovey dramatic over the situation and he felt somewhat stupid for it, he couldn't help it.
What truly made Gerard sad wasn't that some random guys from school were dicks, it was the fact that Mikey not only left his brother helpless in front of his bullies, but he was possibly the worst one.
And once again, he knew he might be overly dramatic. While it was true that most people in his school were less than friendly to him, he had to admit that he often thought about it like it was far worse than it was. Usually the worst thing anyone would do to him would be an offhand comment, a slight push or a "joking but not really" light punch to the shoulder or so.
With that being said, he was aware it could be far worse, in fact there were kids in school who were far more picked on than he was, as unbelievable as that was to him since it always seemed to him that people hated him the most. He was aware of all that, but as much as he hated to admit it, it didn't help more than slightly.
Even tho he felt pathetic because of it, he wanted a friend, and he had none, and that was what bothered and saddened him the most, and there was no way around it.
So with all said and done, was he realistically aware his life wasn't that bad? Yes. Would that stop him from being a drama queen about every slight inconvenience that occurred? No.
S
o in his usual fashion, he suddenly decided to act rashly and irresponsibility as the bus was slowly making it's way to their stop.
He pondered on it for a bit as he watched everyone else getting on the bus, but at the last moment he changed his mind and turned around to walk away without a second glance.
If he had looked over his shoulder tho, he might've noticed a pair of eyes watching him walking away.
Due to his decision to skip school for the day being so last minute he was quite unsure where he was going for a moment, until he saw a supermarket and established he did have some money with him.
He pulled out the money and waited in the short line. The woman behind the counter looked at him suspiciously while selling him his liquor of choice for the day and headphones.
He just gave her a twenty dollar bill and walked out of the store before she had time to think about how he probably didn't look old enough to buy it.
* * *
After a few minutes of walking he finally got to his destination; an empty construction sight.
He walked in, despite the "Do Not Emter" sign and continued his way until he reached the top floor. He sat at his usual spot. He loved coming here. He loved the way how the sun was coming in through the unfinished wall giving him enough light to draw.
But he wasn't here to draw today, so he pulled to blanket he used as a curtain to hide from the world, even though nobody would see him anyway.
Maybe he was the one who didn't want to see himself at the moment
