Vincent x Reader (Cute New Night Guard)

what the fuCK RICHARD!? (Crack!)

(ROAD TRIP WITH THE SQUAD CRACK)

•The gang goes out for tacos at this really shitty place called 'Tasty Taco' before the trip
-Scott: I am not eatING CRACK TACOS DAMNIT
-Fritz: you're going to be eating my godAMN FIST IF YOU DONT SHUT YOUR FUCK
•They end up splitting one hundred tacos amongst themselves
-Vincent: I can't believe these were only 50 cents each
-Jeremy: did you really have to buy a hundred though??
-Vincent: did you really have to give me sass??

•Fritz plays Beyoncé in the car and nobody can convince me otherwise

•Mike got a car seat for Jeremy as a joke
-Jokes on them though Jeremy had the comfiest damn seat THANK YOU VERY MUCH

•Vincent would be the one to say "have you ever thought of car sex??" While he's between two people in the backseat.

•Scott is salty about driving and hits every pothole on purpose
-Once Mike's head hit the window all hell broke loose
-they threw hands
-got pulled over for reckless driving but all they found were two men bitchslapping each other in the front, a man in a carseat, and two others singing along to Hollaback Girl

•Mike: "Damnit, I only have 69 cents for gas"
-Vincent: "awe, you know what that means ;))"
-Mike, crying: "I don't have enough money for chicken nugget-"

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(This portion of the crack is sort of a collab between me and KendallRed87 , just us texting each other in all caps basically)

-The Gang Drunk Off Their Asses-

•Vincent (tOuChInG yOuR hAiR): B a bE  B A B E
-You: iM NOT YOUR BABE!
-MIKE: "there are cHILDREN IN THE VEHICLE"
-Jeremy: *confused fish noises*

•Vincent: *wiggling eyebrows and stroking thigh* ohohoHO ;))))
-You: Vincent that's the gear shift you dumb fuck

-Jeremy: W HATS GOING O N-

•Mike: WHY ARE WE GOING SO FUCKING F A S T !!!!
-You: tHE CAR IS PARKED DIPSHIT

•Mike: POTHOLES ARENT GOING TO BE THE ONLY THING GETTING DRIVEN INTO TONIGHT HA-
-You: shut youR FUCK
-Jeremy, crying: why are you condoning reCKLESS DRIVING MIKE

•Jeremy cusses so fucking much
-Jeremy: mike get your fuCKIBG ELBOW OUT OF MY GODAMN RIB ASSHAT
-Everyone: *is shook*
-Mike, crying: don't raise your voice it hurts my fEeLiNgS

•Vincent, cranking the A/C knob to full blast: I love this so N G!!-
-Air vent: *whoosing like a damn vaCCUM*
-Mike: oh my god is this from nICKLEBA CK
-You: what kind of-??¿

-Everyone: IvE bEcOmE sO n U M B!
Fritz, emerging from his alcohol induced coma: n U M B!!

•Vincent, screaming the lyrics: I like us better when we' R E WA STED!! IT MAKES IT EASIE R TO S AYAYAYAYA
-Jeremy, having unlatched himself from the carseat: *crawling across the console like a damn spider* turn this shIT OFF

•You end up dragging them to your house and they all pass out around you on the couch
-Vincent cuddles you like a damn koala
-Mike snores and gets Fritz's foot in his mouth

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(A Sleepover)

•Mike brings sodas but has a mentos set up in the tops to drop in once opened.
-Vincent: I fuckinb lOVE GRAPE SODA
-Soda, exploding all over the counter:
-Jeremy, screaming: I told yOU THIS PLACE WAS HAUNTED
-Vincent: I HAVE SODA UP MY  N O S E

•Fritz lost the remote and now the tv is stuck on a shopping channel
-Scott: I will rip my eyes out if I have to watch one more minute of this

•Vincent gets handsy during 'The Lion King'
-Vincent, caressing what he thinks is an arm: Y/N, you have such smooth skin
-Mike, emerging from the stack of covers: can you stop molesting my ankle
-Vincent: *is screaming*
-You: did you just try feeling me up right when Mufasa dies???

•Jeremy cries when the hyenas show up, they scare him
-Mike: they aren't even that scary, you work with furries all day why are you crying???
-Jeremy, snot running down his face: they laugh like Scott
-Scott: excuSE ME-???

•'Can You Feel The Love Tonight' starts playing, Fritz and Scott have a duet
-Jeremy also cries once more over how cute the lions are together
-Mike is just crying over how gay everything got, Fritz and Scott caressing faces while singing

• Vincent keeps cracking jokes.
-Scar: mufasa!?
-Vincent: daDDY???

-Scar, throwing embers in Simba's eyes;
-Vincent: don't trust a hOE~

•It's 3 a.m and Vincent wakes everyone up
-Vincent: if you tried to summon Beyoncé, would that make it a Beyonseance???
-Mike, viciously flopping over in his sleeping bag: bitCH SHUT THE FUCK-

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THIS IS SHORT IM SORRY, GIVE ME SCENARIOS FOR CRACK AND I WILL WRITE THEM, IM JUST EMPTY RIGHT NOW.