Half Way Happy | E.D

3.

"you don't have any money left in your account" the lunch lady told me with a frown.

"oh, right. uh here ya go" i handed her three bucks. "keep the change"

i go and sit down at my lunch table with my group of friends. this group consists of iridessa, emily, arizona, and ashlyn.

me and arizona dance together.

i know ashlyn because she's good friends with iridessa.

and me and emily have been friends since elementary school.

"yo, look" iridessa pointed to the group of jocks walking to their lunch table. the large hustle of boys spread out across one whole table. geez.

obviously ethan is a jock. he plays baseball. luv me sum baseball boiz.

not only that, but he also plays football. i used to always go to every game he played, for both sports, of course. he's actually really good at it. considering we are finishing up our Junior year of highs school, college scouts are starting to watch him. i know that he'll get a scholarship, point blank.

just wish i could be there to celebrate with him.

"bexley" ashlyn puts her hand on my arm.

"y-yeah?" i hop out of my trance.

"is everything okay?" she asks. all the girls are looking at me.

"i'm fine, ash. thanks" i fake a smile. iridessa gives me the "we're talking later" look and i nod.

"ugh those boys act like they own the place" arizona scoffs.

"they kinda do. everyone does that they say." i shrug.

"yeah, only because people are scared of them" emily hops in.

"i guess."

weeks go by pretty fast. same routine everyday. wake up, miss ethan. go to school, miss ethan. fall asleep, miss ethan.

repeat.

i have an older sister that i like to vent to. she's always there for me. of course we argue every-now-and-then, like siblings do. but she's still there for me.

so i complain to her all the time.

i tell her everything.

same with iridessa. she's my best friend. and i know she like.. values me or whatever so i try to make her feel good.

she's a huge softie. very emotional. she's kinda attached to me. but i love the girl, so it's not a big problem or anything.

she's the first person i call whether i find out good or bad news. she's the first person i call when i'm crying so hard i can't really breathe. vise versa.

but back to what i was saying. there's not a day that goes by where i don't think about ethan.

when we broke up, he told me it was just a break.

what if this is just the break?

what if missing him is just my heart's way of telling my brain that i still love him?

ugh obviously i still love him.

and it's bad.

it's unhealthy.