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I Love You's and Insecurities

I think my heart may have just head butted my chest. I couldn't stop reading it over and over again.

"I think I love you"

After a few minutes of staring wide eyed at my screen, Bentley got my attention by hitting me right in the head with a piece of crumpled up straw wrapper.

"Dude what the hell?" I slid my phone into my pocket rubbing the forming red mark above my eyes. Bentley laughed and shook his head. "I thought you were frozen, I had to make sure you were still with us." I shake my head and take another sip of beer before heading out, not even noticing Bentley had already covered the check and was ready to get out of there.

"Come on tell me! Tell me tell me tell me!" I roll my eyes and lean my head against the car window as Bentley drives me home. The guy insisted on picking me up and dropping me off, pushing the idea that I needed way more drinks than him with all that's been going on.

I couldn't help but crack a smile as my friend in his early 20's continued to bounce up and down at each red light or stop sign screaming "TELL ME" repeatedly. No wonder he did so well with the kids, I swear he's on the level of a five year old himself.

****

"Please! Please tell me!" I shut the car door and waved goodbye as I walk up to my door. "Good night Bentley." I hear him whine as I step inside and he pulls away. I was glad I went out with him, I needed some guy time. Bentley gives great advice, sometimes when he's not being a wise ass, I just couldn't tell him what was up. The entire situation was a bit sticky. When it comes to these things I usually give him a quick summary and we move on from it. Bentley and I had known each other for years and he didn't exactly know I regresses. I doubt he even knew what that was.

How could I explain this anyway? The girl of my dreams wouldn't mind being my carer but she won't tell me a damn thing about her? The woman had just told me she loved me and instead of being happy beyond belief I was extremely frustrated! How could she love me? I'm me, the me she knows nothing of.

I take a deep breath and open my phone, realizing how much of a hypocrite I sounded. I'm taking out my frustrations of wanting to meet her in the wrong way. Hell I love her too and I myself know nothing about her. Wait did I just admit out loud I love her too? I said I wouldn't get attached didn't I? Fuck here we go.

MoTulip864 is typing...

"I'm so sorry Logan, I should've never said that, I understand if that was a bit too fast but can you please answer?"

MoTulip864 is typing...

I had left this poor girl on read for a good 20 minutes. I wasn't sure how to reply. I was in such shock but I had to say something.

"Wait! Whatever you're about to say don't say it, I love you too. I wasn't sure how that was possible but it's true, I love you too Hannah."

"Omg you scared me! I'm so happy that you feel the same way though Logan. I'd love to see that baby face soon."

I smile to myself, placing my pacifier in my mouth as I text her back. I never felt comfortable regressing as much as I do when talking to her, she just has some magic affect.

"Really you would? I'd absolutely love that.."

"Of course I would! I've been dying to see you face to face, I can't even imagine how infections that smile must be in person."

I gulp as I feel the heat from my cheeks take over my entire body, both from happiness and a bit of worry, what if she doesn't like how I look in person?

"Well I hope you like what you see when we do meet, I'm a bit nervous you won't like how I look."

"I promise I'll love how you look, even though looks don't matter and I've fallen for that sweet personality kiddo haven't I ?"

I couldn't tell if she was serious or just saying that in case I AM unattractive in some way, god this conversation was making me feel butterflies in every way.

"Um say you for some reason didn't find me attractive, haha , would that be a deal breaker? I know people say looks don't matter but surely in some aspect they do right?"

"I wouldn't worry about a thing small, you yourself have my heart and attention and I promise that will stay the case, now mommy has another big day tomorrow so she needs her sleep. Sweet dreams prince. ❤"

"Ni ni mommy💚"

I shoot a death glare at my reflection in my phone, stupid insecurities, always sneaking up on me. As mad at my brain as I was, I couldn't help but smile to myself as I pictured the future of us meeting. I knew I was "good looking" but was I going to be to her. I better shower and rinse these thoughts away.

****

I was snuggled up in my dinosaur onsie in bed after my shower. My dinosaur pacifier bobbing in and out of my mouth as I started to drift off to sleep. I groggily sat up, as my phone rang. I answered it, rubbing my eyes.

"Dude I need to come over now!" I yawned a "yeah sure" and soon fell right back to sleep.

Hey guys! Hope you enjoy! Don't forget to vote!

-Dylan😋