Mommy Mobile

Suspecting

"Is this..is this the same app I've been using?" I click on the familiar icon and scroll through the recent matches. "How come I wasn't matched with her in the first place!" I click on her chats out of curiosity, maybe we've talked before and I missed it?

I knew I shouldn't be snooping around her phone, it was wrong to do even for married couples, let alone some one you've been on one date with. "Munchkin where are you?" I quickly take a look at the screen and I could've sworn my heart did a cannonball right into my stomach. "Who is this?"

Melissa had what looked to be a another boy, saved to her favorite chats. I grit my teeth as I read the name,"Tiny prince." I felt my lip tremble as I laid the phone back down. Saying I was jealous was an obvious understatement. I felt as if a snake had sunk it's teeth in my chest and let the venom flow through. How could I even say anything about it when my hypocritical ass was doing exactly the same thing with Hannah?

"There you are cutie!" I jumped as I felt arms wrap around my waist. I was in shock and as much as I wanted to turn around and confront her, I was frozen and I knew I couldn't back up my accusations without admitting I looked through her phone.

"What's wrong honey?" I shake my head, not being able to utter a sound with the new found lump in the back of my throat. "Hey hey bubba you have to tell me what's bothering you or I can't help.." What the hell am I suppose to do?

I shake my head again, whining a bit as I let out a small huff. "Oh someone's feeling fussy aren't they?" I try my hardest not to regress, my emotions are taking over and my body wants to cope. I couldn't get small, not now. "Not fussy.." I whisper but it comes out in more of a whiny tone, obviously contradicting my statement all in itself. "Hmm oh did you have an accident maybe? It's okay if you did I know you can't help it when you're small."

I'm feeling super overwhelmed and the only way I know how to cope, how to protect myself is.. to regress. "Nuuh." Melissa just smiles and takes my hand, pulling me over to my living room. "Someone's regressing really tiny huh? That's okay, it's okay." I whine but am instantly calmed when I hear her shushing me. "Shh sweetheart, sometimes we need to be tiny to help our big emotions."

****

"Shhh my tiny fussy boy, I think it's nap time hmm? You need sleepies, that will help." Melissa pulled me into her lap and was rocking me slowly. I felt my brain completely giving into what it needed and it wasn't fair, she was a dream carer and I selfishly wanted her to be mine. How could I enjoy this moment I've always longed for when I had two very big problems. I didn't want to take her away from that other guy, I knew all too well how that felt. I also had Hannah, who knew what she was up to right now but I had a good guess that it wasn't with another dude.

I was so small and so frustrated with how my life was going, I couldn't help it, I immediately started to cry, proving further just how much I did need to regress. "Aw no no shh, what is it little bug? No tears no tears I'm here." I nuzzled my face into her neck and cried harder. I wasn't sure what to do or who I wanted. Why did these things come so hard for me?

"I- I'm sorry.." Melissa rubs my back as she hushes me. "What ever for my love? Tell me what's bothering you so I can-" Melissa's phone rings, interrupting my breakdown. Although I wasn't sure if I was thankful or disappointed. "Hold on cutie pie, I'll be right back." Melissa lays me down on my couch, slipping a pacifier between my lips as she hurriedly catches her phone call.

"Ugh! I just missed it, hold on baby boy I'm coming." I sniffle from afar, trying to calm myself down but my brain just wasn't having it. I looked up towards Melissa as she sighed. "That's weird, my phone was already unlocked?" My eyes go wide as she picks it up. "One of my apps are open too. Logan, were you on my phone?"