Carry me

Chapter 2

We sat in silence for a minute. I stared at the floor and he just stared at me. It felt like the longest minute of my life. I started to panic thinking maybe I shouldn't have come out to him.

"Okay," He said.

OKAY?!?!?! Did he seriously only say "Okay"????? I just came out to him, something that was really hard for me to do and he just says OK!!!!!

"Do you know how hard it was for me to come out to you? And all you say is OKAY!!"

"Well, I mean I already knew,"

"How could you have known when I don't radiate GAY?" I asked.

"You don't have to have a bright flashing rainbow sign that says "GAY" above your head for me to know. Us gays just can tell when someone around them is gay, like a gaydar,"

"So if you knew why didn't you ask me?"

"It isn't my place to force you to come out when you aren't ready yet."

Huh well I didn't expect that to be his response but I do feel a lot better now that I came out to him. I can finally be myself and it feels really freeing, like I can finally be the person I am supposed to be. Only in front of Ethan though.

After I came out to Ethan he and I grew so much closer. He comes over to my house almost everyday, spends the night, and genuinely makes me happy. I've changed the way I live my life. I started caring more about my life and others, paying attention in class. I don't listen to music during class anymore and for one time I actually have good grades. I have never used the term "best friend" but in this case that's what fits him.

I never came out to anyone because I figured they would be judge mental and hate me. I thought Ethan to be the same way but, he turned out to be gay as well. We might be the only two gay guys in Rosewood. That's not necessarily a bad thing though.

I've been learning more and more about him and it's making me like him more than I already do. He tells me about his friends back in New York, how everyone was accepting of him, and then he brought up a crazy idea.

"You should come out to the school," Ethan yelled.

"For one shut your mouth, we are not the only ones in this house and two how about no," I replied.

"Oh come on, my friends back home accepted me, what makes you think these people won't accept you,"

"Ethan, I have lived here longer. I know these people more than you do. They won't accept me at all. They make fun of someone if they think they are anywhere near gay,"

"Well they don't know you, maybe that's why they wouldn't accept you. Get yourself out there and let them get to know you. I can't be your only friend,"

At this comment I kind of got a little hurt. I am aware that Ethan and I are friends but, I don't just want to be friends. I wouldn't know how to handle a relationship though. I just know I want to be in one with him. He makes me smile, he makes me laugh, and I'm comfortable being me around him. But asking me to come out to the entire school is way too much way too fast.

"I just can't do it, I'm not ready yet,"

"Are you sure, because you are you around me and it makes you happy. I just want to see you happy around other people as well," Ethan said.

He has a point. I am very happy with him, I still am not ready to come out though. I like it where he is the only one who knows. I don't entirely care for others yet, just him.

"Ethan, I appreciate your concern for my loneliness but, I'll b fine. I have you and that's all I need right now,"

"Oh my god, that was so sweet. That is definitely goals. I could kiss you just from pure sweetness, I'd get a sugar rush though," He laughed.