story of our life

chapter twelve

sometimes i think of what a risk it is to write these

i already took a huge chance of you finding this by telling one of your friends

of course hes one of my best friends too and i love him

but not like i love you

i thought i did once

then i realized how ridiculous it was

hes like the male version of me

 he knows how i feel about you and could tell you like he did before

remember that?

that was when you broke my heart

said you hated me

i was trying not to cry and convinced everyone i was fine

but i told him i wasnt

and he told you how miserable i was

but you didnt believe him.

i guess you were so used to me being happy and optimistic that it never occured to you

how much pain i feel

how much i hate myself

hate the world

hate life.

not like you care anymore

you used to

but now you dont.

i want to talk to you

like we used to