wonderwall » grethan ✔

sixty three

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The bell rang throughout the building as the hallways quickly filled with students. Ethan made his way outside, practically running to his car that he and Grayson shared as he slipped inside the driver's seat. He tapped his thumbs against the wheel as he bobbed his head to the music. Wonderwall by Oasis filled the car as a smile spread across Ethan's face. He couldn't help but think about his brother every time he heard this song.

Speaking of his brother, Ethan couldn't wait to get home. Sure he had only been away from him for a few hours but he missed him like crazy. He wanted nothing more than to walk into Grayson's room, slip into his bed and hold him.

After driving for another few minutes he had finally made it home. Pulling into the driveway, Ethan rushed into the house as he called out his brother's name. He walked upstairs and made his way into his own bedroom as he placed his bag on the floor. Ethan called out his brother's name once more and upon hearing no reply he gently knocked on his bedroom door before walking in.

His blue comforter was thrown across his bed with a small blue notebook sitting on the edge. There was a post note attached to the front with Ethan's name sprawled across it in a black sharpie.

He grabbed the notebook and opened it to the first page as his eyes scanned across the words his brother had wrote.

dear ethan,

mrs lavange told us to write letters to someone we love

so here goes nothing

love, grayson

A smile over took his face as he looked down at the notebook. Ethan had forgotten that the notebooks were a project. After a few entries it became natural to him. He refused to go anywhere without his notebook in fear that something would happen and he wouldn't be able to tell his brother. His fingers toyed with the corner of the page as he flipped it to a random one and began reading it quietly to himself.

dear ethan,

the gash on my head has healed pretty nicely so far

you asked about it and i just told you i fell and hit my head on the corner of the wall. i dont think you believed me.

ill tell you the truth soon, i promise.

i just kind of dont want to admit out loud that dad was the one who did this to me.

thank you for always being there for me and being so kind

love, grayson

Ethan stood there in shock as his eyes studied the contents of the page. He knew that Grayson's story about falling was a lie but he had no idea that it was their own father who did that to him. He could feel his own face turning hot from anger.

He flipped through the rest of the book as he noticed that every single page was addressed to him. He was flattered, to say the least, but he didn't understand why Grayson would want to write to him. Especially after how he treated him.

He also noticed that there was a letter written on every page as well as a few extra ones taped in the back. His hands flipped to the final page as he read it to himself.

dear ethan,

i never meant for this to happen. im sorry.

i love you.

you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me

love, grayson

Ethan closed the notebook and carefully placed it back on the bed as he looked around the room in confusion. Grayson's room was empty and there was no sign to indicate that he had gone anywhere since Ethan had had the car all day. Searching the dresser, Ethan found his brother's drivers license.

Grayson was particular about driving without his ID. He had this constant fear that he would be pulled over and thrown in jail if he didn't have it on him at all time while in the car.

He noticed a small orange bottle peeking out from underneath the side of the comforter as he picked it up. Reading the label he saw that it was his brother's antidepressants he had been put on a while ago. He remembered some mornings seeing Grayson take one before they left for school. Ethan held the bottle in his hand as he left the bedroom and made his way down the hallway. He stopped in front of the bathroom door after noticing that the light was on as he knocked. “Gray? You in there?” After getting no response he moved his hand to the doorknob as he slowly turned it.

He opened the door to find his brother slumped against the floor with one arm in his lap and the other by his side. The pill bottle fell from his grasp as it bounced against the tile floor. Ethan dropped to his knees as he held Grayson in his arms. “Gray?” He moved his brother's hair out of his forehead as he held his cheek. “Wake up, please,” Ethan begged as he felt a tear roll down his cheek.

Ethan reached into his back pocket as he quickly grabbed his phone. His fingers shakily input his password. 1216. The day his best friend was born. He put the phone on speaker and placed it next to him on the floor as he talked to the dispatcher.

He reached for the towel hanging on the rack as he wrapped it around Grayson's upper arm to stop the bleeding. He had several cuts layered across his skin. Some were old and fading. Some were fresh. Grayson's arm was surrounded in a puddle of blood which had gotten not only onto his clothes but Ethan's as well.

Ethan spoke with a stutter, not being able to find the words to say. “I'm right here, Gray. I'm right here next to you. You aren't alone.” He held his brother close as he kissed his forehead.

Grayson's eyes fluttered open slowly before closing. His voice was incoherent as a string of mumbles left his lip, “I love you.”

Ethan held back tears as he leaned downwards.  Their lips touched before a tear fell onto Grayson's forehead. “I love you.”

He held his brother's dead body in his arms as his sobs filled the room. The paramedics soon arrived and followed the sound of his cries as they entered the bathroom. A man who seemed to be in his early twenties slowly kneeled to the ground as he approached the scene. “I'm officer Mendes. I'm here to help you, okay?”

Ethan shook his head violently as he held onto his brother even tighter. He was his. He wasn't going to let anyone take him away.

++ only four more chapters y'all

but i just want you guys to know that im here for all of you. if you're having thoughts of suicide, please reach out to someone and get help.

the national suicide prevention  hotline is open 24/7 and can be found at:

https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

OR

1-800-273-8255

seriously im here for you guys. if you ever want to talk about anything im one message away. i won't judge you or push you away. im here for you guys, every single one of you.

you lonely and need friends? biiiitch so do i. we can be friends, we can best friends. i got you

you got an annoying ass english teacher you wanna tell me about? shit go right ahead, ill tell you about mine too

stuck babysitting but you hate kids? shit so do i, we can bond over it.

going through some shit and need someone to talk to? just wanna vent? hit me the fuck up. double message me i love that shit. im here for you. you aren't alone.