Chris and I went from the bed to the shower. Thankfully, the kids haven't woken up yet.
He lifted me up as the water ran down our bodies. My legs wrapped around his waist and he continued to kiss me as he slowly began to pump in and out of me.
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"I missed you so much." He spoke as he kissed my neck
He continuously hit my spot over and over but he did it at a slow pace which was driving me crazy. I could feel my orgasm building up and it seemed as if he was going slower. I finally came and it felt like it lasted forever. I could've sworn my hearing went out in my left ear. He pulled out and allowed me to stand on my feet.
~~~~~
Chris and Anthony ran around the house playing with Kody, Lyric and Raelynn. Aiyana sat in her swing while I cooked dinner and Riley watched.
"So how was it?" Riley spoke
"What?" I stirred the milk and butter into the potatoes
"Don't play dumb. I know ya'll did the nasty. I can see it on your face. You look more relaxed. He fucked all that tension outta you."
"Riley!" I laughed
"Was it better?"
I nodded and bit my lip. "He has matured."
"Just nasty."
"Who nasty?" Amber walked into the kitchen
"Lauren. She fucking Chris." Riley answered
"Well tell the whole world then."
"Shit. She gotta get some dick from somewhere."
"I can not with you two."
"Anyways. Here." Amber handed me a brown envelope. "This was taped to the door."
I wiped my hands and grabbed it. Opening the envelope, revealed the last thing I thought I would see - divorce papers.
I stood there in shock. Riley took the papers from me and looked at them herself.
"Damn." She mumbled "You ok?"
I sighed. "It really doesn't even matter. We've basically been separated for months now. Might as well legally do it."
"Well it says to call him on Monday so he can explain. There's a number at the bottom."
The timer on the microwave went off letting me know to take my chicken out of the oven.
"I don't even want to think about that right now. I just want to have a nice dinner with my family and friends." I smiled
Monday
I sat there with my phone in my hand. I didn't know if I wanted to call Jay or not. I finally pulled myself together and dialed the number. It rung about 4 times before he answered.
"Hello?" His voice came through the phone.
"Hey Jay."
"I see you got the papers."
"Yea." I nodded as if he could see me
"Well first, I just want to apologize. For everything. It was never my intention to hurt you whatsoever. I've fallen into a dark space in my life and I need to figure things out. The last time I was here was in high school when my brother died. I guess having both of my parents die sent me over the edge. I don't know how long it is going to take and I don't want you waiting around for me and it might take years. When my brother died, I went downhill and it took me about 3 years to get myself together. Knowing that it's my parents, it could possibly take longer." He sighed. "So, I've decided to go to rehab and see if I can make some kind of progress there. Because I do love you and my kids. I will be in Pennsylvania for the 8 week program. I doubt that it will help but I'm willing to try."
"So what is the point of sending me divorce papers if you are working towards getting better."
"I don't want to string you along for the next five or so years because I can't get my shit together."
"That's a bit selfish, don't you think?"
"Actually it's not. I'm allowing you to move on with your life instead of being stuck on me."
"But we're supposed to be together until death. We have children together."
"Well things change. I know myself Lauren. Until I get out of this rough patch, things will just be up and down. Some days are good, others are bad."
"So you don't want my help or support at all?"
"No." He said bluntly
"Ok. I understand. Well I hope you get yourself together one day." I ended the call.
It's no point in fighting for something that he clearly no longer wants. I grabbed a pen off the nightstand and began signing the divorce papers. I placed them back into the envelope once I was done.
At this point, I think I'm done with relationships. I might keep Chris around for sex but I don't think I want him back either. Being alone would be better for me. Nothing is complicated and I won't have to worry about getting hurt. I can focus on growing my brand and business and taking care of my kids.
