The Dreamer

Epilogue

I jolt awake in cold sweat and I can feel myself shaking. I wearily glance around the room, afraid to move or sit up. I can still hear his laugh echoing in my mind. "Eira." My eyes snap forward and I see Zeke staring down at me worriedly. "What happened? Did you have a nightmare? Does something bad happen later?" I can't answer. I wouldn't answer. I lunge forward and hug him. Tears slide down my face freely and I shook in his arms.

He ran his hand up and down my back as I cry. I try my best to keep the sobs down, but they eventually came up. I can't get the images out of my mind. All of the people he hurt and how they suffered is etched in my mind. I just want to forget them. I want to forget everything. But I can't. Scenes fill my head and repeat like a whirlpool of water sloshing around in my mind.

"Tell me what happened." I didn't dare tell him. What would he think? He'd only get angry and irrational. I'm irrational enough as it is. "Zeke, I just want to forget it." I can't tell him about how I'm Jacomus's granddaughter. I can't say that I'm related to the monster who cursed him. I can't tell him anything. Would he turn me away if I did? Would he still love me? Does love go away after news like that? I can't risk it and I can't risk my family. Before I left, Jacomus gave me orders.

"You will leave that boy and go back home. There, your father will get you." I shook my head stepping back. "No, I can't do that." He growled at me and suddenly grips my arms in a vise grip. "You will listen to me girl," he spat, "You wouldn't want something bad to happen to your temporary family, now would you?" My heart dropped into my stomach and the color drained from my face. "That's what I thought. So do as you're told. Maybe I'll arrange a party for your return." He turned around, ready to walk away, but he stopped and gave me one last glance with his last words. "And if you have to, tell him that you're my granddaughter. I'd love to see the look of betrayal on his face." I glared at him with tears threatening to spill and he disappeared for good.

How can I leave the man I love after everything he's been through? He's been there for me and proved more than enough times that he'd never leave me. He trusted me with his heart in my hands and Jacomus is forcing me to crush it. He will pay for this. It may not be now, but soon.

I continue to sob on Zeke's shoulder and he tries his best to soothe me. His deep voice whispers to me loving words which only makes that stabbing pain in my heart worse. "I can't do this," I whisper. I try to encourage myself to push through it, but the ache seems like it's too much already. "Can't do what?" Zeke only slightly pulls away and I wish he hadn't. I feel like I need to hold on longer to engrave the memory into my mind of how safe I felt. How much I feel loved.

"Eira?" I can hear the slightest hint of fear in his tone and I keep my eyes down. I can't even look at him. Not until he gently lifts my face. I stare right at him, taking everything in and memorizing it. His eyes soften and I knew he can see right through me. He'd even see the smallest lie I was telling him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't do this anymore Zeke. It's too much." His face drops and I fought the urge to hug him again and say sorry. My family will die if I don't do this. "Eira." I shake my head and stood up. Zeke does the same and tries to take a step towards me, but I back away. "Please," he begs me. "Zeke." My voice trembles, but I swallow it down and stood my ground. I try to look strong, despite the tears freely falling. "It's too much for me."

"What's too much for you? Why are you behaving like this all of a sudden Eira? You were fine just earlier." He grips my shoulders, but it's not in a forceful way. It's gentle as always. "What happened?" I stare up at him, seeing his pleading eyes. "I'm sorry." I back away and walk past him, but he grips my wrist, spinning me around and trapping me against the wall. "You aren't leaving until you tell me what went wrong. Did I do or say something that hurt you? Did someone say something?" I cringe and Zeke's face fell. "Who said something? What did they say?"

"No one said anything." His eyes darken and I could tell he knew I was lying. "Eira."

"Zeke, just leave it alone."

"I don't understand why you're doing this."

"It's for the best," I mumble, but that only made him angrier. "Does it look like it's working for the best?!" I flinch when he yelled. "It will over time!" His frustration grew. He growls and suddenly rushes forward without any warning. His roughly kisses me and I can feel his pain. The knife twists in my heart and I sob. He pulls away with a hurt look and I cover my mouth to contain it.

He sighs and rests his forehead against mine. "You're killing me Eira," he whispers. "And I'm sorry." Neither of us wants to let go. "Please don't leave me. Think this through."

"Zeke."

"Just please, I'm begging you." I hear his voice trembling and I softly push him away. "Eira. I can't live without you."

"You've lived this long without me. You can do it again." But he shook his head. "Not after I found you. How can I live with you here within reach, but not be able to have you?"

"You won't."

"What?" In the little light we have in the room, I can see small streaks of tears staining his face. "I'm leaving." I watch him fall apart right in front of me. "No, you can't. What about our quest? What about us?"

"I'm sorry." I step away and start packing already. Zeke tries to talk me out of it, but it is useless. "Can you please leave?"

"No, I promised I wouldn't leave you. That goes for you too."

"Please, Zeke. Don't make this any harder than it has to be."

"What's so hard about it? Just stay."

"I can't!" I spin around to face him. "I can't." I quickly grab the rest of my stuff, unable to bear this conversation anymore and finish packing. "Bye Zeke." I grab my bag, but Zeke stops me once more. I can't face him. I was afraid I'd change my mind. I can't bear to see the pain in his eyes and know that it's my fault. "Eira." My heart clenches and I can't breathe. without another word, I pull my bag away and walk out.

I used one of the cars in the garage and hopped in. I quickly start the engine as the tears endlessly fall. I can't stop sobbing and my vision grows more blurry with each passing second. I could see a rough outline of Zeke standing outside the garage door as I drove away.

I drove to my old home and knocked on the door. Mom answered and saw me crying. "What's wrong honey?" I don't say anything. I just hug her and sob. I can't form any words. I can feel dad and Mia's gaze on me and they brought me inside. "What happened?"

I sat on the couch with a warm cup of tea in my cold hands, but I can't find the energy to drink it. I can't answer any of their questions. "Did you get fired?" I can't let them get suspicious, so I just nod. I knew it didn't make sense. No one would be this broken up about a job. "You can stay here. I'm glad you're home."

"Thanks," was the first and last thing I said before I went upstairs into my old bedroom. Mom was right. They kept it the same. It's filled with all of my stuff, but it still feels empty. I lay down in bed and cried myself to sleep.