Scribbles

the art of you and me

The light bulb flickers as if its gasping for its last breath before the life is drained out of it. Looking at it gives me a wrong feeling of foreboding. I can feel my heart pumping overexcitedly as I await my certain doom. I gasp a shuddering breath as I-

Oh, darn it. I am not usually one for the dramatics yet sometimes I like to play at making the dull glob I am forced to call my life, a tad more interesting. There is no absolute need for me to do so as my best friend, Lilah, keeps things pretty...eventful. I know it is not technically her fault; she can't help but be so...beautiful. From her hazel eyes, down to her tiny toes; everything screams "touch me", yet I am not able to comply.

You see, my hopeless crush, in this scenario, is exactly that: hopeless. I've been in love with Lil for as long as I've known what being in love was. I've known her all my life and spent equally as much time together which wasn't much of a help growing up in addition to my unstoppable and cringe mouth paired with a case of extreme teen hormones. I am almost certain that some of those so called "unharmful" hormones actually entered my brain and refuse to leave between the ages of 13-15. There was constant hair fiddling: checking my reflection on a mirror every two seconds and the worst of it all: blushing bright tomato red every time she spoke a word. I don't know or even have the need or want to know how exactly she managed to put up with me. I'd like to think I have improved as of late, but I cannot fully defend myself as it might not be fully the truth.

I remember one summer, during a blistering hot afternoon, I randomly made a daisy flower crown and me being the genius I am, I made the object excruciatingly miniscule to fit my giant of a head. Despair and annoyance clung to every ounce of my being as I stared stoically at the incompetent piece of trash I had produced only moments ago. It took me half an hour to make. Thirty minutes of my life that I wasn't going to get back. I stomp my foot in frustration as a grumble of exasperation escapes my lips forcing Lilah to look up from her book. I do not seem to recollect my exact next action, but I find myself lying on a soft cushion of legs as I look up for my eyes to be met with soft hazel eyes filled with amusement at my doing. I roll my eyes as if to say, "go on laugh at me!". And she does.

A loud, heinous snort of laughter escapes her lips, which to outsiders would sound like an actual pig, but to me sounded like the sweet tinkling of ivory key against each other. I rest my stare upon her face, shamelessly transfixed and a in a great inability to look anywhere else but her undoubtful beauty. Her laughter ceases as she slowly makes eye contact and the power of that gaze is so intense and so scorching hot, I am forced to look away. The moment I do, the air gets thick with an inexplicable mist of awkwardness that seemed to radiate off both of our bodies and strangles me. I cough as I came into a sitting position on the cool side of the pool.

"Sorry," I seemed to have muttered in her general direction as I picked on some loose strings of my trousers. She only gave me on a smile in return.

"Race you to the kitchen!" she exclaimed, jumping up from her seated position as she bolts towards the house. I shake my head at her childishness as I smile to myself. Oh, it's on! I clamber up on all fours and make my way to follow her only to fall back at an odd angle on my behind. I only have a split second to register the pin prick of the excruciating pain on my rear when the sound of howling laughter reaches my ears. I turn my head around so fast I must've given myself a whiplash. My face turns an alarming shade of red as I pull myself up extremely slowly from the ground. Trust me to embarrass myself in front of the love of my life. Surprisingly it wasn't the only time. That says a lot about me.

Ah sweet adolescence memories.

One of the earliest memory I have of us together is from the time we were both around the age of six I was one of those extremely introverted and shy kid (still am!) and preferred to not converse or associate myself with any fellow children that were being educated in the same constitution as I. one gloomy afternoon, while I was busy enjoying my exquisite meal of chicken nuggets and chips, that I was ambushed (I often gets glowered at by Lilah when I use that word but it certainly felt like ambush when it occurred) by a girl with two plaits swinging from her head, who also unsurprisingly looked about my age and obviously was in my class.

"Can I sit next to you? I'm Lilah-May but call but call me Lilah or I'll knock your teeths out." came a soft, clean voice with no sign of hesitation or shyness. Her blunt way of speaking was actually what drew me to her since day one (which I did learn to be a font she puts up in front of strangers as I have encountered her "softy side", as she calls it, many a times).

I didn't know whether I should point out that teeth is actually the plural of tooth and teeths is incorrect or say hi and make a new friend.

"Hello Lilah. I'm your future best friend." Is what I intended to say but it sounded more like,

"Uhmm...what? Me? Hi?"

A. Giant. Fucking. Mess.

I think looking back it was the moment I truly learnt to breathe and appreciate my life for what it was. Lilah opened up my eyes and helped me see the world from her point of view. She gave zero shits about other's opinion and barged into my life unannounced and completely forcefully with no concern as to how I might've felt about it. Even now, she is the only person who is able to break me out of my own shell and do things I never would have imagined myself doing. Sky diving for example. That girl has a death wish. But that's a story for another time.

hey there! long time no see. here's another "sit down and write whatever" for you today. i love this one. it might be turning into a short oneshort. keep your eyes peeled for that. one of my close friends made a wattpad. her name is spatklycupcake and she has copied my idea of "sdaww" and she's been posting some of them. i can't be mad at her for stealing it because i told her to do it myself but her writing is too good to ignore. go show her some support.

raima <3