To Admire

Ch12

For the past few weeks we've been preparing for war.  I've been told that we needed a planet to dock in order for the ship to regain energy.  Appearently this planet has many forms of natural energy that she has been tapping into.  I was going to stop doing these entries, but I wanted to get this all down somewhere in order to have some form of record. 

The local government has been nothing but a thorn in my side lately.  They tried to get us to surrender the ship and come quietly or some other similar demand, but after Kiriah "talked" to them the gave us an area to work.  I'm pretty sure there was a total planetary destruction bluff, and a very real death threat included in that conversation.  I choose not to question her methods as they seem to get the job done.

The true reason this needs to be recorded, however, is that I discovered something.  I  thought that Kiriah was doing this for me, and I had actualy been feeling a great deal of guilt over it, but no.  Shes doing it because of her wife.  Jenea, I beleive her name was, came to my quarters one night before I went to sleep, and told me something.  I will try and translate the conversation we had as best I can...

"Kazarah, are you awake."  I opened my eyes to see who was interupting my rest, and met eyes with Jenea.

"I'm awake." I responded groggily and rather annoyed.  I had been training all day, and would have prefered whatever she was about to say to wait until morning, but I didn't want to be rude. "You need something?"

"Theres something you should know."  Her words peaked my interest slightly.  If I had eyebrows I would have raised them.

"What is it?"  I sat up in my bed, and looked at her.

"The reason we are going to war.  You might think its because of you, but its not.  Kiriah just wants you to think that so that you will help us.  I'm sorry that when we first met you were met with a rather hostile welcome, but as of now I beleive that you deserve to know.  You know how I am able to hear your thought frequencies?  Well we discovered that during the raid on your home planet.  After that I was labled a freak.  They were going to execute me.  I am a fugitive.  That was what got her convinced that the council was evil.  You letting her live was just what made her spare you and Zander.  She decided that you could be useful with the proper training.  Everyone on her ship isn't just a regular soldier.  These are the elite, but they are also rebels."

"Why did she think it was nessicary to lie to me?  Couldn't she have just said "Hey!  We are going to kill those who ordered your family and everyone you ever cared about dead.  Wanna come?"  I mean really."  I inquired.

"Well namely because she didn't know if she could trust you.  She wanted you conviced that we were helping you.  Cornered animals will fight."  She answered.

"So you are telling me that the generals elite soldiers are all going after the crown?"  I asked.

"Indeed.  I just thought that you would want to know the truth, and sorry that you even had to do this in the first place."  She spoke softly.

"Don't be sorry.  It wasn't your fault, and I never liked when things took a turn for the depressing." I gave her a slight grin.

"I should just let you sleep.  Rest well."  She said before parting.  I heard the door close, and despite thoughts rushing through my head at a million miles per hour exhaustion took me.What she told me was slowly picking away at me until I had a day off.  I ran to find Zander and the following conversation ensued during lunch.  Thankfuly the only person we had to worry about evesdropping was in on it, and we didn't have to worry.

"Hey Kazarah whats wrong?  You look distraught."  he asked.

"Do you feel guity?"  I answered his question with another question.

"Kinda, but we don't have much of a choice.  I don't want to loose you."  I ignored his slight attempt at sweet talking me.

"You really shouldn't.  We are just helping something that was already in motion.  Sure in my opinion it is a good cause, but its not because of us.  Its because of Jenea." I told him.

"The generals wife?" He looked puzzled.

"Yeah.  She was going to be executed, so the rebelion started on the grounds that they were trying to kill an innocent."  I said.

"Thats beautiful." He began laughing. "How stupid can you be to make the person that you trust with your entire millitary angry?  She practicly ruled the planet, and she only answered to them because she believed it was right.  Really?  Thats why we are fighting?  Thats hilarious.  Natural seletion is catching up with them. Bahahahahahahaha"  He seemed a lot more okay with it that I though he would be.  I felt better, and somewhat releaved.  It wasn't my fault that she was dropping her entire life, and Zander was okay with it.