Styles Fx

If You Break It, Fix It

Harry's POV

I want to die right now. I mean to completely die. I want out of this coma and to just enter the grave. I have done everything I could to please Louis. Touching him when he wants and giving him pleasure to the point of a black out at times. You may wonder why I am so upset right now. Well, it all started almost a month ago.

Flashback

Louis had found Josh in his apartment and made it to the elevator to try to get away. Sadly, Josh was able to get in but he couldn't do anything because there were other people in the elevator. He tried to stand near Louis but Louis backed away to the other couple and began shakily speaking with them. I spoke soothing words to him to keep him calm and it all worked out pretty well. Once the elevator reached the lobby, Louis got out followed by Josh. The other couple was heading to the garage for their car so Josh made his move. He tried to pull Louis away again threatening him, but there were too many people and Louis began to fight. He was yelling, punching and kicking at Josh and I was cheering him on. After what seemed like forever, and Louis almost being dragged out, hotel security finally arrived. Louis was pulled off of Josh and they were both held in the security office until the police arrived. In the end, Louis was let go and Josh was finally in custody after trying to lie saying Louis attacked him. As the police carried him away he did his best to ensure Louis in the coldest most deadliest voice that he could muster, that it was not over and that he would be back. However, the police told him he would probably never see freedom again for his crimes against Louis.

End Flashback

Now, everything has changed. Louis has been on edge every since then. I have tried to reassure him that he has nothing to worry about. Josh is in jail and if he were to escape, he would get a call and the police would be at his house straight away. This didn't matter to him. He has been pushing me away and I don't understand it. He has been getting really close with Thomas. They have been spending a lot of time together and it makes me want to cry. I probably would if I could. Thomas is always touching him and they kiss a lot. It makes me feel sick. We were doing so good until Josh came back. Now, everything we had built up has been torn down. I don't think I stand a chance even when I wake up. I wish I couldn't feel his emotions. He likes Thomas a lot and I don't seem to matter anymore. I have shut myself off from Louis. I can't sense him anymore. It has been 3 weeks and I think I am at my end before I get my last beginning.

One thing that hurts me most is that Louis does not even visit me anymore. Since I blocked him, my days are mostly spent in silence. I can't take it. Even here, the silence is deafening. I just wish I could take back the deal I made and just let everything be over. I feel like I have lost over and over again with every glimpse of Thomas I get through in my mind. I decided to tune in to Louis and maybe try to talk to him again and I wanted to scream. Thomas is currently on Louis' bed hovering over him, with Louis' legs thrown over his shoulder pounding into him. The thing that hurts the worst is how good Louis seems to feel and how much he seems to want Thomas. I think it is time for me to give up before I even get my real chance. I guess I have lost him again. He is too into Thomas to ever want me now. Maybe I can get my angel back here and just give up. Yeah, maybe that.

Louis' POV

"Ah fuck, yeah! Ha-Harder!" I nearly screamed. Thomas is giving it to me so good right now and it feels fucking good but I feel so bad at the same time. I hate to do this to Harry, but I need this. Well not this per say, but someone. Harry has been treating me so well despite everything. However, Thomas is here. He cares a lot about me and I need someone here with me. Yes, Harry is always here but then again he is not. I can't see him. I can't touch him. I want to touch him so bad and feel his arms wrap around me while we stare into each other's eyes. But we can't. I can't have that. He has been in this coma almost two and a half months. I had been praying constantly for a miracle and for him to wake up these past few weeks so he could be here with me. No such luck as always.