Amor Fati - Our Love, Our Fates [COMPLETE]

Part 10 - Nocturne

Part 10

Nikhil's Penthouse, Midnight

Nikhil stood on the threshold of the balcony, looking straight out into the dark. He was impervious to the soft wind playing with his hair, as his mind replayed the happenings from the evening.

He didn't want to acknowledge, but he had found his visit bearable to the extent that he had stayed for Dinner.

Rohini was however not to be seen during or after dinner, and Madhukar Uncle had taken the opportunity to introduce Nikhil to a few of his friends, who at one point of time resided in the same neighbourhood. All these flippancies usually bothered Nikhil; but his own resilience that evening had surprised him. Though he remembered none of the gents, the recurring nostalgia in their remembrances made him feel warm and fuzzy.

As his chauffeur drove him back home, Nikhil's mind flitted back to their dance. And he felt tranquil about it. He remembered her being soft and pliant in his arms; the bitter-sweet smell of cherry blossoms still lingering in his mind. She had smiled widely as the dance ended; had thanked him profusely and then hurried back to join her Father.

Nikhil was confused. Pulling off his sweatshirt and throwing it on the sofa, he paced around in his bedroom. He padded onto the kitchen for a drink of water, his brows knit deep in concentration. He was trying to have that ever elusive conversation with his heart; trying to understand the conflict of emotions. The conflict that he had promised himself to stay away from.

His apartment was all dark, except for a sliver of light from a lamp in the sitting area. The brightness drew him like a moth, and he stood there, taking everything in. How empty and vast his apartment was! Nikhil tried to remember the last time he had actually felt like being home. He had a slew of people to take care of his apartment and everything in it; friends and relatives often lavished praises for the decor and neatness of his apartment. Little did they know that it had no soul, no feelings, no moorings. Just like him.

As he returned back to the balcony, he felt an intense dislike stirring within him. A dislike for himself. And he hated Rohini for everything. For making him look into his own eyes and making him realize that his life was just a properly etched out puppetry, missing out on all the warmth and happiness. The warmth and happiness that had embraced then during the dance that they had shared in the evening.

"This is all madness" he said aloud, trying to convince himself that whatever he was experiencing was not in tandem to his true self. 

Even in that silence all around him, Nikhil failed to hear his own heart laugh out aloud, as the blood through his veins picked up pace.

...

Rohini's Apartment, Early Morning

Rohini glanced at the old fashioned alarm clock and grimaced. It was already 3.00 a.m. She could feel the tiredness in her bones, yet she couldn't sleep. She knew that something was happening to her; something that made her bereft of peace and tranquility that night; that something that had put an extra edge in her steps and a lilting smile on her face. Even Dipti had commented about that smile at the end of the day, and how she had missed it for so long.

She hugged herself as she plopped down on her bed, for the umpteenth time that night.

She now wished for the dawn to arrive so that she could go back to her daily routine of pretense. The act in which she was always happy, but reserved. The act in which she was always smiling, but lonely.

She sighed. She was indeed tired.

Unknowing to herself, she slid down on her bed and pulled the comforter to cover herself, shivering slightly. She had kept the window open to let the cool air in.

She found herself thinking about the bergamot and cedar that had regaled her senses that evening. Or was it vetiver? Rohini inhaled deeply, still feeling engulfed by the all masculine smell, as she finally drifted off to sleep.

...

Madhukar Nayak's House, 3.00 a.m.

Madhukar Nayak sat on the couch, nursing his whiskey as he thought about the evening. He was not a habitual drinker, but he wasn't a teetotaler either. He liked his drink once in a while, when he was in a contemplative mode.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, and thought hard. The smiling face of Rohini in Nikhil's arms flooded back as he took a long sip. Nikhil for once was smiling.

Madhukar Nayak frowned. Was he reading too much into everything? His fingers twitched, but he knew that this time, he needed to stay away and let their Fates determine their own courses.

End of Part 10