Amor Fati - Our Love, Our Fates [COMPLETE]

Part 50 - Melancholia

In Binsar, Next Afternoon

"What exactly are you doing here?" her voice was sharp edged yet devoid of any feeling as Rohini stepped out onto the steps leading down to the garden trail. He was standing outside, a rucksack slung on his back, his eyes scouring the landscape all around.

Something was different, Rohini knew. For a while, she wondered if it was really Nikhil. He turned around at the sound of her voice, and Rohini felt herself flinch a little. But only for a second as she took in the gaunt frame of the person in front of her, the sallow skin, the red shot eyes, the drooping shoulders, the unruly mop of hair, a scar on his left cheek ...

Nikhil took a few steps towards the stairs, his eyes drinking in her presence. And his heart reeled at what he saw - the ghost of Rohini stood in front of her. There were dark circles under her eyes; the very eyes that still gave him hope in face of despair, were now without any light. Nikhil wished for some expressions therein, he could even do with hatred. But there was nothing except for a glimmer of deep-seated sadness, a loss of interest, almost to the point of indifference, as she seemed to look straight through him.

The weight loss was damning, and Nikhil was sure that one would be able to trace the bones of her rib cage, if one could.

He was lost for words now.

Once he had finalised the journey to Delhi, then to Kathgodam, and then to Binsar - he had thought of thousand words that he would say to her, and beg for her forgiveness. He knew it wouldn't be easy given the crime that he had committed, but this he hadn't bargained for.

His knees buckled slightly as he took two steps forward. Only to see her step away.

Kumud came and stood behind Rohini. Nikhil pointed somewhere to the west

"Mystic Clouds ... I am there ... I wanted to meet you ..."

And see the trail of devastation that you have left behind? ... the words failed to take any form on Rohini's lips.

Yet.

"How?" Rohini's voice was now terse. Nikhil stepped away.

"Madhukar Uncle ..." the words died on his lips.

Rohini felt a red hot rage blooming within as she breathed fire.

"Dad? How could he?"

The hatred within her for him consumed her, as Nikhil stood awed at the vision in front of him, as her eyes blazed with an intensity that he never knew existed. His eyes cringed as he noticed her wrapping her arms around her middle in an effort to shield herself, in an effort to push everything away.

From him. From everything that he had done to her. To her love. To her dignity. To her trust.

Hot tears sprung up as he sunk down to the moist ground, his legs giving away. He was abominable, and he hated himself with a vengeance that he hadn't known either to exist within himself.

Few seconds which lasted for eternity. Through his tear-laden eyes, he saw her fade away; the fight in her giving way as she limped towards the door.

Kumud walked towards Nikhil, the dawn of understanding on her face.

"So you are the one to gift her all those nightmares?"

"Kumud ..." her soft voice floated in as Nikhil avoided Kumud's gaze. "Tell him to come tomorrow morning at 9 ..."

...

Mystic Clouds, That Night

The night outside was dark and cool. Nikhil sat in the balcony of his room, his legs resting on a stool, as he played out his heartbreak on his violin, again and again.