Amor Fati - Our Love, Our Fates [COMPLETE]

Part 56 - Consideration

In Bengaluru

They stepped out of the Coffee Shop as the sky darkened, and as visitors started filtering in. Nikhil held onto Rohini's palm, now curled into his, as they walked towards the parking spot.

"Let me drop you home Rohini ..." he was earnest in his request. "I don't see your car. And, I don't want to let go off you ..."

Rohini stayed quiet as they walked on. Sensing her hesitation, Nikhil looked at her.

"If this bothers you Rohini, we will take a step back. I am willing to work on this relationship, on us, right from the very first step that we had taken back then. But ... I don't want you to have any doubts whatsoever"

Rohini opened her curled palm and allowed her fingers to link with his.

"Come home Nikhil. Let us start with coffee again ..."

...

The drive to Rohini's apartment was quiet and uneventful, both of them lost in their own thoughts. Once inside the apartment, Nikhil looked around as Rohini retreated into the kitchen. Once a safe haven, the apartment seemed all cold and distant now, though he was determined to make things better. He caught a glimpse of Rohini's luggage by the sofa that had not yet been unpacked. Despite the slight sounds that emanated from the kitchen, there was dead drop silence all around. Nikhil shivered involuntarily as he stepped into the balcony.

Rohini joined him after a while. As they sipped their coffee in companionable silence, Nikhil turned sideways to look at her. As in really look. The sadness on her face was palpable and she seemed to have lost the vivacious sheen that had so characterized her. Rohini turned towards him, mapping his face, memorizing the same sadness reflected there.

"Is this it? How did we even arrive here?" she whispered.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Want?" she stared at him blankly.

Nikhil nodded - "Want is an incorrect expression. What do we need? Both of us? That's the moot point."

Rohini thought for a while - "You want me to decide?"

Nikhil nodded his head. "Yes. And No. I know what I need. But I need you to need the same as well, to feel the same ..."

"I am afraid Nikhil. What if we fail again?" an unknown sadness pervaded her words.

He reached for her hand and pulled her closer to himself, letting his warmth seep in through her cold fingers.

"We will try again. And again. But yes ... we need to trust ..."

The dams burst open as she slowly moved into his arms and sobbed her heart out. He held her close to his heart. And once she had moderately calmed down, Nikhil led her inside, which was now filled with the delicious smell of homemade brownies. They sat together, face to face, trying to read the other.

"I made brownies today ..." Rohini offered helpfully.

"I noticed" he smiled at her and inhaled deeply. "I love it when I am here ... with you. This way"

A slight smile spread across Rohini's face as she reached for his hands. She looked down at their palms, now pressed together, and marvelled at how her palm fit perfectly into his. She looked up to find his eyes on her. She hesitated for a moment though she knew that this was the moment -

"I was so heartbroken that evening that nothing made sense then. Or afterwards." Rohini said after a while. "I was on auto mode because I could not let myself unravel. Not in front of everybody. Not in front of others. I couldn't do that back in this apartment either. Once in Binsar, I let myself go ..."