Amor Fati - Our Love, Our Fates [COMPLETE]

Part 54 - Tranquility

Next Morning, Binsar

Rohini rushed up the curving stone steps leading to the home-stay, nearly doubling up in exertion as she reached the front door. As if on cue, the front door opened and Mrs Sharma stepped out.

"He is not here ... he left" she handed Rohini a sealed envelope.

Rohini was impatient as she tore at the envelope, pulling out a single sheet of paper, her eyes blurring and her heart pounding in its own shell. The tears escaped her eyes as she read the words - "Ro, Ajja is in ICU ..."

She limped over to the wooden gate down the steps, the letter clutched in her palms lest the words fade away. A little down the lane, facing the mountains, she spied a wooden bench and she walked towards it. Her heart was a mess and her life had been thrown topsy turvy once again. Nikhil ...

His appearance in Binsar had reawakened the storm that had been latent within her for all this time, wrapped in bitter sorrow and hopeless longing - like a wounded animal, lying hurt and angry, licking it's own wounds. She had hated Nikhil with all her might, all these days, these months - only to realise that that hatred was all like a double edged sword, a kind of helplessness that did not let her lose her love, neither did it allow her to die. She tried her mightiest to continue with that hate ...

... until he happened to turn up at her doorstep, causing her heart to burst with emotions.

The day she had turned him away, that night she had cried in her sleep, longing for his warmth and closeness. Which was not supposed to be.

And then faced with the ominous aspect of never being together, she had messed him up further with the visit to the grounds beyond the temple ... yes, she had been inconsiderate at that point of time, needing him to know about the truth that she had to offer. And never be in peace. Like how it has been for her.

And now that the biggest missing piece of the puzzle had been unveiled, conflicting emotions ran through her - hate, which had prompted her to flee from his room the previous morning; and love, which had kept her sane all through the day and beyond ...

"Oh Nikhil ... " she whispered. "Why couldn't you find me earlier? Why couldn't you free me from this resentment?"

She got up and started wallking towards the meadow, mightily worried about Ajja now, wondering how and why the old man had landed up in the ICU. Knowing the truth, she was loathe that Nisha was still somehow present around them. 

A while later, she took her phone out of her pocket and dialed.

...

In Bengaluru, Late Afternoon

Nikhil rushed to the Hospital straight from the Airport. As the car left, he thought wryly about how his return to the city the last time had caused havoc in his life, and destroyed it. Alongwith Rohini's.

Her thoughts softened his stance and his eyes moistened; he hated leaving her behind there in Binsar, all alone, with no one but misery for company.

The car pulled up in front of the Hospital in a while, and Nikhil rushed to the reception. Roshan was waiting for him there with the Pass and they hurried to the 5th floor where the ICU was housed.

"Don't panic" Roshan said as they hurried towards the elevator. "A major heart attack. He's critical, but stable now ..."

He looked at his friend closely and shook his head - "You look like hell Nikhil. What happened?"

"I had high fever and the Doctor there has found bronchial strains" Nikhil responded as he wheezed slightly. "And ... I met Rohini. I found her Roshan, finally ..."

His eyes swam with tears as he looked at Roshan, who hugged him with all his might.

Once they reached the floor, Nikhil and Roshan strode towards the ICU. The Doctor met them outside and reiterated that though Sadashiv Shastri was stable, they needed to monitor him further and he would hence need to stay there for a few days more. Nikhil knew that his Ajja would not be pleased at all; in fact, he loathed the idea of visiting a Hospital, but this was for the best.

Roshan had trailed off post discussion with the Doctor, and Nikhil found himself outside the ICU alone, staring at the prone figure of his grandfather on the hospital bed. The tears that he had so long restrained tumbled down his cheeks and he turned away to hide them.

A little later, Poorvi arrived and dragged Nikhil to a Chest Physician in the same Hospital, ignoring every word of protest that Nikhil uttered. Once the visit was over and the Doctor had prescribed some tests and medicines, she had resolutely stood in front of Nikhil, her arms crossed across her middle and uttered

"I had promised Rohini when she left to look after you, if you at all needed the looking after ... it seems you are gonna need loads of TLC ... "

Nikhil could see Roshan smirking in the background and once Poorvi left for home, Roshan whispered - "These are the Ninja fighting techniques that I have to deal on a daily basis. My advice - don't fight, don't even try"

Nikhil smiled as they trudged along, happy to be with his friends, but feeling desolate that he had left his heart behind. Unsure of whether she would find it in herself to forgive him ever.

...

Next Morning, In the Hospital

Nikhil paced along the hallway, stopping every now and then in front of the ICU to peep inside, willing his Ajja to show signs of progress. His mind was in turmoil. He had always thought that his Ajja preferred Abheek over him, and with his Ajji's death, Nikhil had shifted away, hiding within himself and his music. But now he realised that his Ajja had never forsaken him. He had just been kind and understanding enough to give Nikhil the space and time to grow into himself, a chance that others rarely received.

He sat down on the seat in front of the ICU waiting for the Doctor to arrive. The worry at ate him as he also wondered when he would be able to return to Binsar, to Rohini.

In all this melee, Nikhil never realised when he had dozed off. He suddenly woke up with a start when he felt the warmth of a hand on his, which had been resting on his thigh. He turned sharply to find Rohini sitting beside him, her face serene and untroubled, her eyes clear of any doubts that he had seen lurking in Binsar.

He hesitated and then slowly intertwined her fingers into his and brought up her hand to gently kiss her knuckles. He was relieved when she didn't pull her hand away.

"Ajja?" she asked, indicating towards the covered glass door of the ICU.

Nikhil nodded - "He will survive this time. That's what the Doctor says. But there are complications."

After a few minutes, he added - "I will definitely take care of him, though God knows how? I know zilch"

Rohini was now gentle - "We will find a way"

She had tears in her eyes as her voice trembled. He looked at her and then reached forward to wipe her tears as they fell.

He suddenly started coughing suddenly, now choked with emotions. And instantly, he could feel the warmth of her hand on his back, seeping through the soft cotton of his tee, as she patted him. There was concern and something akin to fear in her eyes when he looked at her again.

He smiled. "Poorvi did drag me to the Doctor yesterday. I guess the harm that has already happened will take time to be undone."

Her palm on his back pressed down firmly and her soothing words filled the space between them

"We will find a way ..."

And they both knew at that moment that this was what mattered and that they would have to fight tooth and nail to make things better. For themselves. For their present and future.

End of Part 54