Addison was rapidly falling for Dylan Willis. There was no other way around it. She'd tried as hard as she could to not even find it in her to care for Dylan but it had been impossible in the end. There were moments when she was around Dylan and she had to physically restrain herself from closing the space between them and telling Dylan everything, showing Dylan just how much she needed him and that she didn't want to ever leave. That way of thinking was dangerous though, Addison knew as much because she didn't have it in her to have that stability. She wasn't a calm pond, a light summer's breeze or a blank piece of paper; no she was a cataclysmic wave, a hurricane force wind and covered in flaws. Flaws that were both emotional and physical. She didn't deserve anything that Dylan could possibly give her despite that fact that as the days went on Addison was finding it harder to spend time away from Dylan.
She couldn't allow herself any of that. She couldn't allow herself to need or want Dylan and it was getting harder and harder each and every fucking day.
The only thing he could have done, the only thing he could think of doing really, was to run. He didn't ever want to disappoint Dylan or hurt him by being exactly who he was, he couldn't change and he knew that but he could keep Dylan at arm's length again.
Don't leave. Dylan had begged her not to leave but Addison just couldn't keep that promise. She knew Dylan wouldn't understand her need to flee when things got rough but she hoped that somehow Dylan would find it somewhere in him not to hate Addison. Not to hate her for being pushed any. That was Addison's only real hope.
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Addison was jogging early on a Tuesday morning three weeks after Dylan had asked her not to leave when her phone buzzed. Addison had been lying awake for hours unable to switch her brain off and drift to sleep. In the end, she had become so frustrated that she had grabbed her running stuff, left a note on her door if anyone came to check on her and gone off jogging down the road. She'd started jogging and running even more, nearly daily, over the past few weeks. It not only helped clear her head but also improve her running times. It was as the sun was slowly rising, making the early morning mist that had drifted over from the town's main lake more prominent when Addison stopped jogging.
The weak sunlight was trying to filter through the tallest trees and the slight bite in the air told Addison it would be a cool day despite it being the beginning of spring. She would have to remember to take a thick hoodie to college with her. She slowed down her pace to a quick walk. She looked down at the screen of her phone while she zipped up her hooded jacket to protect her from the early morning chill.
Dylan: 5:32 - What's going on Addi?
That was all the message said but Addison knew the words behind it. Dylan wanted to know why Addison had changed their conversations in art back to those of casual, almost cold, conversations with no personality behind them. Dylan still brought coffee but now he handed it to Addison silently, clearly not expecting Addison to say anything to him. Addison sighed deeply as she looked down at the screen. She couldn't explain this all to Dylan via text message, fuck she couldn't even explain it all face to face because it was just too difficult and not being able to say that to Dylan was killing her inside.
Dylan: 5:34 – If I did something wrong I'd rather you just tell me what I did because I can't think of what I did. Addi please, I thought we were past this...
Addison couldn't lie, reading Dylan's words hurt because she could feel Dylan's own hurt in them. Dylan was also a heavy sleeper at night, Niamh had commented several times that it took all but an earthquake to get Dylan out of bed in the mornings, and for him to be awake before eight in the morning meant that he couldn't sleep. He couldn't sleep because Addison was doing what she was good at, pushing everyone she'd ever cared about away. It was the one thing she was good at really
YOU ARE READING
All Of Your Flaws
Novela Juvenil"You can't hurt people if you don't let yourself get close to them. It's also easier to run." Those are the words eighteen-year-old Addison Harper has believed for the past few years. She's content with living that way until Dylan Willis crashes int...