All Of Your Flaws

Part Twenty Five

It was at three in the morning when Brigid nudged Addison gently, probably to see if she were awake. She was of course. She'd been lying in her bed unable to forget the feel of Dylan's lips against her own, unable to forget that just for those few moments that she was with Dylan she'd felt so happy she could barely stand it. It had been like a burst of light had surged through her and she really had been happy until that poisonous thought in her head had convinced her that she didn't deserve to feel that happiness. That fucking poisonous thought had convinced her that the joy she'd felt when she was with Dylan was completely undeserved even though she wanted nothing more than to have the feeling of joy every damn day.

"Addison?" Brigid asked in a small voice.

"Mmm?"

"Are you awake?" Brigid asked shifting slightly in Addison's bed.

"Yeah..." Addison replied with a slight yawn. Brigid shifted again so she was facing Addison, her face barely visible in the dark of Addison's room; the same room they'd spent so much time over the years either studying, spending time together and on one particular night, Brigid had comforted a fourteen year old Addison when she'd felt her first twinge of childish unrequited love.

"I wanted you to know that I'm never going to leave you...I know you worry about people running out on you but I'm not going to even when I leave for university. You have me, you'll always have me." Brigid said lacing her fingers through Addison's and holding on tightly. Her bright eyes, bright even in the dark and full to the brim with purpose, found Addison's and locked onto them. "You're my best friend and you'll always have me."

"I know Brigid...I know." Addison said squeezing her hand.

"You really don't have to talk about what happened but...well I'm here for you when you do want to talk." She mumbled; sleep already beginning to pull her back down.

"I can't sleep so I'm going to grab some fresh air." Addison said as she shifted out of her bed.

"Want me to come with you?" Brigid asked. Addison shook her head, she could see that Brigid was already beginning to drift off.

"No it's fine, you go to sleep." Addison said. She gave Brigid's hand a quick squeeze before climbing out of her bed. She fumbled around for her shoes. As she did so, Brigid's phone beeped. After a beat, Addison heard Brigid sigh. "What's wrong?"

"Dad's asking where I am. He walked past my room on the way to the bathroom and saw I'm not there." Brigid said. "I can't wait to leave home. Are you going to be ok here by yourself?" Brigid asked with a worried look. 

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Addison said even though she wasn't sure if that was actually true. 

Quietly, Addison and Brigid padded out of the room and downstairs. They both slipped out the back door and out into the garden. Brigid waving goodbye as she left through the side gate. It was a clear night without a single cloud in the sky. The moon bathed the garden in a bone white light.

As she sat down on one of the garden chairs, Addison pulled out her crumpled pack of cigarettes. There was no one there to chastise her. As she lit a cigarette, the memories Molly's party came back to her. Sitting outside on a step with Dylan. God, she'd screwed up so badly. Dylan was probably never going to talk to her ever again. It actually shook Addison to the core.

She fumbled in her pyjama pocket until she found her phone. Dylan had probably long since gone to bed so she wasn't sure why she was scrolling through her contacts until she found his name. Before she realised what she was doing, Addison called Dylan. It rang for several moments before he answered.

"Addison?" Dylan asked as soon as he picked up the phone.

"Hey...sorry, did I wake you?" Addison asked. Like she needed another reason for Dylan to hate her.