In the Club

CHAPTER 3

Ungjae POV

        God. Oh god. He hates me now. Wonderful. I did something stupid while I was drunk and now Taeho is never going to want to talk to me again. His subconscious hated it so much he thought it was a dream. I'm doomed. He's gonna tell the group, everyone will hate me, we'll disband and I'll be homeless on the streets.
       I am staring at him waiting for him to say something. Anything.
       "I am so sorry. I never meant for it to happen. It just... did." I had to explain to him. I reach out to him but he takes a step back.
       "No, stop," he held his hand out in front of me. "I need to think."
       "But-"
       "No. Not now. I said I need to think," he turned and walked out of the bathroom.
         AH. How could I have done this? My hands, which were curled into fists, were shaking. I want to hit something. I unclench my hands and run them through my hair. Should I go after him? No, I'll do as he asked and give him room. Should I pretend like nothing happened in the bathroom? Option B it is.
        Uhhh I should have told him sooner. I should have told him this morning.
        I think back to this morning.
        I had just woken up and remembered what had happened the night before. It wasn't till after I hit my head that I realized to my utter embarrassment that Taeho was in the room and laughing at me. Which wasn't the reaction I would have though him having after last night's events. I had quickly covered my face to hide.
       After that it wasn't till the photo shoot that I saw him again. Maybe I should have told him sooner. But I didn't want anyone else to know. Call me strange but that moment, no matter how much I regret it happening, I'll always treasure it. Kissing Taeho is one of my happiest memories. But also a moment that could turn my life upside down.
        Deep breaths. In. And out. And in. And out. You can do this. It's just another photo shoot with the guys. Except I kissed one of the guys and now he isn't speaking to me. Yeah, okay.
       "Ungjae it's time to take group shots are you done in there?" Jian walks in.
       I take one more deep breath. "Yeah, lets go."
       As we take to the floor to begin the group photoshoot Taeho won't meet my eyes. He stands at the other end of the group.
        I can't take my eyes off him.
      "Ungjae! Look at the camera please."
       Taeho keeps staring ahead as I tear my eyes away and towards the camera.
      Click. Click.
      "Taeho we need you to smile and Jeup take your hand out of your pocket," says the photographer.
       Click. Click. Click. I steal a glance at Taeho.
       "Okay let's mix everything up, everyone switch spots," yells the photographer.
       As we shuffle around somehow I end up in the middle next to Taeho. I didn't know if he realized it but I certainly did. As I looked over at his face, inches away from me, I can see his face is stressed and pale. My hand almost reaches out to him and comfort him like I normally would, but I am the last person he wants to anything to do with now. My hand falls to my side.
      Almost as if he could feel me staring at him, he turned to look at me. His eyes blank. Then he turned away.
        In that moment there was a thudding pain in my heart. It got worse as I stared at his face. I like this guy so much. I might love him. I even got the chance to kiss him. And now he most likely hates me and resents me for my feelings and what I did.
        There are so many emotions coursing their way through my body that it is really hard to concentrate on the photoshoot.
        Trying to ease the tension the whole group probably is feeling by now, Jeup decides to make a joke. "Hey why did the fish get bad grades?"
      "Why?" Asks Sang.
      "Because he was below C level!! Hahahaha!" But it seemed that Jeup was the only one who enjoyed his dad joke. We all look at him for a couple seconds in silence before turning back to the photographer.
         Click. Click.
——————•••——————
       "Okay remember it's on 5, 6 AND. Tat ta ta. No, Sang you're jumping the gun after the five. You're going 5 AND 6. It's 5 WAIT 6 AND." Jian corrected. "Do it again."
        Jian was testing us all individually on the dance, correcting anything he saw wrong. Currently I was sitting next to Jeup. Taeho was on the other side. He still hasn't said a word to me since he bathroom at the photoshoot.
        I kept replaying that fateful moment in my head. Something about that night kept jumping out at me. It was so strange I could have sworn that I might have dreamt it. After I I kissed Taeho I remember, I remember when I opened my eyes, he was also opening his eyes. But that had to be my imagination. Why would Taeho have closed his eyes? He didn't want to kiss me. Or did he? What am I saying of course he didn't, I saw his face in the bathroom. He must hate knowing that we kissed. It was probably just because he was drunk.
        I need to talk to him. I don't even know about what. Maybe about what we wanted to do now, or if we should just pretend nothing happened and move on with our lives. The kiss could change everything.
        "Alright Sang you're done. Jeup you're next!"shouted Jian.
         "I gotta use the restroom!" Sang sprinted out of the practice room.
          As Jeup stood up I use this chance to slide closer to Taeho.
        "Ummm... sooo.... can we talk?" I questioned quietly.
         "About what Ungjae?" Was he playing dumb?
         "About, well about... you know, the kiss." I whisper.
         His face is turned away from me.
         "There's nothing to talk about!" although he was whispering I could hear the harshness in his voice.
          "What do you mean? Of course there is. We are a team, we need to talk about it."
          His face is still turned away from me. In the silence that follows I can hear Jian telling Jeup that his moves during the chorus need to be sharper. 
          I lean back against the mirror. "Fine, I'll talk you listen," I pause and take a deep breath. "I need you to know that I never thought what happened last night would ever happen." Not even in my dreams, but I didn't tell him that. "Please believe me, honestly we were both so drunk... if I had had anymore to drink I probably wouldn't have remembered anything that happened either."
          "I know you're really upset right now and I just wanted to say I'm sorry about not telling you what happened sooner." I took a chance and reached out to put my hand on his knee-
        "Taeho it's your turn," yelled Jian.
       Sang had also come back from the bathroom. As Taeho stood up to practice both Sang and Jeup came to sit next to me.
        "So what are you guys fighting about?" Asked Sang casually as he folded his arms.
       "What? I don't know what you are talking about," I tried to say as nonchalantly as I could muster.
       "I'm calling bullshit. You two are as thick as thieves." Jeup said from my other side.
       "Yeah and you and Taeho have barely spoken all of practice," stated Sang.
       "And at the photoshoot, you guys didn't say anything to each other after you went to the bathroom. So what lovers spat have you had this time?"
        I turned to Jeup, my eyes wide with shock. Why did he have to use that choice of words?
       "I don't know what you guys are talking about," I tried and probably failed to get my emotions in check. "Just cause we haven't been feeling like talking doesn't mean we are fighting."
         "You can't lie to your Hyungs. First of all we know everything, second we want to know so you have to tell us." Jeup said says matter-of-factly.
        "Wait, no. If you know everything why would I have to tell you anything?" I ask, curious how they would answer.
        Sang and Jeup stare at each other across the divide that is me.
       "He has a good point."
       They both look at me, "You win this round but we'll find out sooner or later."
        "Find our what? There's nothing to find out." Except the fact that I kissed one of my best friends, he is not talking to me because he probably hates me, and I really really like him. That was probably my biggest problem. No matter how he felt about me I still really liked him. What was I going to do about that?
        "Okay, Taeho you're done. Ungjae you're last. C'mon!" Jian was yelling.
        I got up quickly.
——————•••——————
         It's been two days and Taeho is still avoiding me. Every time I come near him he walks away.
         He is avoiding me and all of the members have noticed. I don't know know what to do. Maybe after some time he will open up to me again. I just have to be patient.