Reliving History, Repeating Mistakes

Part 5

Dinneris the most awkward thing she's done in a good while, and thatincludes a whole lot of things recently. But sitting across from himat the table with so many people around she can't act on any of theideas her mind is so unhelpfully providing, tops all of that.

Herhusband next to her, desperately trying to reach out to her wheneverhe can to make this evening look normal and to maybe finally earn hisforgiveness. The man she actually wants in front of her, desperatelytrying * not * to reach out to her whenever he can to not give awayanything. This is such a bad idea, and she curses herself all throughtheir meal for having agreed to this. It's easier when it's just thefour of them, the adults sitting on one side of the diner booth andthe children on the other. They don't have an audience that couldaccidentally spy what they're trying to hide since the teenagers aremostly too occupied with themselves to notice anything suspiciousthat might be going on.

Thisis her whole family sitting down to dinner in her house with him andhis son. There's a husband and a second daughter to fool, not tomention that this whole idea was to get to know each other, sonaturally the younger couple participate in their surroundings morethan usual. She tries to ask him as few questions as possible whilenot to seem disinterested or rude and he's doing just the same.Conversation around the table is flowing freely but conversationbetween them is as limited as necessary. They can't help sendingglances across the table and more than once she sees him biting hislip to keep from smiling or saying something he definitivelyshouldn't and finds herself doing the same.

Whatmakes this even more uncomfortable is the fact that, to theirchildren's knowledge, he doesn't know anything about her marriageproblems. And to keep this facade up she has to pretend to be thehappy wife and she's rather sure she's fooling exactly no one. Itgives her husband a chance to prove that he still cares, that hestill wants to make this marriage work and that he's sorry for whathe did and for not telling her everything, but in all honesty shedoesn't think she wants that.

There'sno way, not for all the status and money in the world, she would havestayed married to a man for almost twenty years if she hadn't lovedhim or if she hadn't been happy. It had never only been the childrenthat kept her there (she's still mourning * their * child all thetime, too), but all that doesn't change the fact, that she's neverbeen as happy with her husband than she had been with him. Even intheir worst days she had felt more lively than the last twenty yearscombined.

So,sometime during a dinner that is not supposed to be about her or himor * them * she comes to the realization that she wants him. Then,now and in the future. But she's married, has two beautiful children,her first grandchildren on the way.

Andhe's the father of her daughter's boyfriend.

He'sfrom the South side.

Aserpent.

Andshe should never have given him up.

That'swhen she excuses herself from the table, claiming to bring dessertout in a moment, refusing her daughter's help. She needs a momentaway from her family, to be alone. Well, not completely.

Sheknows there's only one person around the table who drinks coffee allday round and so she offers him some with a raised eyebrow that,luckily, fails to attract anyone's attention but his. He acceptsgladly, offers to help, she refuses halfheartedly but he insists andshe reluctantly gives in, turns in her heels and walks towards thekitchen. He follows behind her slowly and watches her from thedoorway for a minute.