Reliving History, Repeating Mistakes

Part 6

It'snot until the early hours of the morning that they finally fallasleep. They had made love more than once, teased, flirted and talkedabout trivial things, all the while ignoring the elephant in theroom. This has progressed from an emotionless fling (if it had everbeen one that is) to something so much more and so much deeper. Theyboth know it and they have both already accepted it and admitted tothemselves that a conversation about what's going on between them isin order. They had just been to afraid to bring it up yet, and if notforced into acting they would probably play this game for theforeseeable future and beyond.

Hetells himself that she's still better off without him and she tellsherself that maybe things with her husband can still work out. Theyboth don't believe it, but the alternative would mean a shatteredmarriage, a broken family and a wrecked reputation she had worked sohard to uphold. So he keeps quiet for her and she keeps quiet becauseshe knows he would want her to.

Theirchildren are another factor. So what should they ever find out theprim and proper Mrs. Cooper used to be a Southside serpent? It's notlike she thinks she can hide it from her daughters forever anyway.She's even surprised they don't know yet, given that they walk thesame school hallways their mother used to wreak havoc in. Maybe itwould not even matter to them that she * used * to be dating thetrouble and dangerous Mr. Jones. The past is past, nothing to be doneabout it now. They could laugh about it, tell a few jokes or talesabout their younger days, leave it at that.

Andmaybe, there could be circumstances where the kids would not evenmind them being together in the present. They don't think that verylikely, not because of who either of them * is * or * was * butbecause them being together indicates the definite end of hermarriage. That's a hard pill to swallow for every child, no matterhow old or independent they are.

Thevery prominent problem here though, lies in the fact that herdaughter is dating his son. It's bad enough to be screwing the parentof you child's significant other and there's no way they would everbe cool with it if they found out. There's no chance in hell a real,public relationship is ever blessed in the children's eyes.

Lastly,he had let her go once before so she could live the life she alwayswanted to have, so who was he to again drag her down the hole she sodesperately wanted to escape from twenty years before. He wants herto be happy, because that's what you do for the people you love, andhe knows she will be happier here. With a husband who loves her, twodaughters who adore her despite not always showing it and without anyscandal. She's worked so hard to become the respectable suburbanhousewife and mother and that's her life now and honestly he doesn'tknow how he would fit into all of this.

*She's * not sure if she still wants all of that. She did once, andwould have done almost anything to get it. She's just not convincedanymore that it had been worth it. She wouldn't trade her daughtersfor the world, but in recent days she can't help but think about howher life could have been if she had stayed, back then. What wouldhave become of her if they had raised their son together. What wouldhave become of her if she had married him like she had planned almostfrom the moment he'd asked her out. What would have become of * them*?

Evenback in her wilder and more adventurous days she would never haveconsidered cheating, yet here she was, sleeping with another man. Ithad made her wonder more than once what it said about her that shecouldn't have brought herself to be unfaithful to * him * but shehadn't thought twice about doing it to her husband. She's not a badperson, she tries to convince herself. She just happens to beincredibly in love with one man, and it's not the one she's marriedto.