Starless Nights

• D o p a m i n e •

Adam's POV

I groaned the next morning trying to move but little did I remember, Levi was snuggled on top of me. I stared at the hair that fell over his eyes and the light snore that would be  released from his parted lips. I knew then that I had hit the jackpot. I continued to stalk his perfect face until he stirred awake and groggily clambered off of me. I watched him walk away to God knows where and it dawned on me that he forgot that I was even there.

I followed him from a distance and decided to take a shower. I think I've finally started to find happiness and I more than deserve this! 

"Good morning babe," I mumbled as I stepped out of the shower and pecked him on his cheek.

"Good morning," Levi responded with a chirpy tone. Very little was said to each other as we continued our morning routines and left the house. I held his hand as we strolled our way to school but I started to overthink as we neared the gates.

Do I dare keep his hand in mine as we walk in?

Levi sensed my slight hesitation and immediately let go of my hand with a lazy smile.

"One step at a time, Adam. I'm not going anywhere."

I was beyond happy to know that he would support me in this treacherous journey but this happiness came to an abrupt end when someone "accidentally" bumped into me and muttered under their breath.

"What did you say to me?" I asked in curiosity.

"Go away fag," Tony snarled at me.

Huh? That was strange.

Nonetheless, I grabbed Levi by his wrist and pulled him further into the school but the further we went, the more prominent the derogatory terms got.

"What the hell is happening?" Levi asked more afraid than ever. 

Just when I was about to respond, my phone went off. I stared at the notification in brief confusion as I saw a message with a link to a video. When I clicked on the video, it was as if all of the air was sucked out of my body and my soul had shut back down into an empty state.

There it was. A video of me and Levi making out on the couch. 

Levi craned around my body to see the video and whispered a brief 'Oh my God' before looking up at me. In this very moment, the world falls beneath our feet as we look at each other intensely in the eyes wondering what our next step would be. 

Seconds passed. Then minutes. Hell, it even felt like hours but neither of us knew what to do. People started to watch us as we stare at each other in awe and disbelief. I couldn't believe I let it get this far. I should've stopped the son of a bitch when I got the chance. Better yet, I am going to stop the son of a bitch.

It was at this moment Luke knew...he fucked up.

I roared Luke's name in anger as I stormed down the halls to find him. I eventually found him casually lounging in the grass with a stupid smirk on his face as he focused his attention to me fuming down to my core. I have never had to fight in my life for reasons like these but I'll be damned if I don't do it now.

Without any hesitation, I punched him in the nose and internally cheered myself on. He made an ugly scowl at me and got up while wiping the tiny amount of blood that trickled out. He took this as his chance to punch me back and eventually we found ourselves in a brawl. Dirt was being smeared over our garments, punches were being thrown, cheers were heard from afar, and I only saw red. 

Red.

I shouldn't have let myself go too far out of control but Luke deserved it. I grabbed him and body slammed him to the ground. While he was struggling to catch his breath I punched him over and over. I have obviously lost all control at this point but that was the goal in mind. 

I kept punching him as I watched his face morph into my father's. I started kicking, then I started to drag him by his hair. This man has contorted my life into one of everlasting suffering! Why couldn't he just die? I punched him again. In the face, in the gut, on the side.  My rage boiled over until I felt many hands pry me away.

"No! Let me kill the son of a bitch!" I screamed. "He has done nothing but hurt me!" I struggled to break away and charge at my father but then I heard Levi's voice.

"Alex stop! You've done more than enough! Leave him be!" He pleaded.

And then finally, the red started to fade away. I looked down at my hands to see how bloody they were but it wasn't nearly as bloody and the teen in front of me. I stared in horror at the bloody and bruised Luke as the principal charged to the scene. Alex whimpered and howled in pain while the school stared at me in disgust. I was disgusted with myself even but nothing was worse than the look that Levi gave me.

He was terrified.

The principal ordered me to go to his office while he calls an ambulance for Luke. I trudged there in shame and waited for what felt like hours for the principal to arrive. When he finally did arrive, he wasted no time in scolding me.

"As a result of your behaviour Adam, I have no choice but to call your father," He ended. My heart sank to the floor and I looked up with pleading eyes.

"Please Mr. Saunders, please! I'll do anything but don't call my dad! Please!" I started to say on the verge of tears. 

"I'm sorry Adam but this fight cannot be overlooked. You almost beat that kid to death!" He finalizes.

Oh no. I'm going to die. My father is not going to hesitate to kill me. 

I started to sob and pleaded, "Mr. Saunders you won't see me again if you call him. I'm begging you."

"I have no other choice kid," he says in defeat. I watch him slowly dial my ticket to the grave and I panicked even more. Once the call was done I was told to wait here on my dad. I sobbed in my lap in defeat because I already knew the consequences of this fight. 

My dad burst into the office and glared directly at me. Once I was dismissed I immediately started to cry.

"Dad I-" I started to choke out but he didn't bother to hear it. 

"Adam I don't care about what a useless gay has to say me. You better rest up well when you get home because the boys are coming over later tonight, and you know what that'll mean," He spat.

I walked past Levi and looked him in his eyes and mouthed an 'I love you" because I know it'd be the last. Once he mouthed it back I was silently preparing for tonight.

They are going to rape me. Then, they are going to kill me.

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Sooooo...long hiatus. It wasn't my intentions but I have been busy with so much in my life lately. I have also realized that when I started this book, I was in a dark head space and majority of my inspiration came from that dark place. But since I'm not there anymore, I've lost most of my motivation for writing this book.

However, I am going to finish this book because not only would this give me closure, it would leave you all peace and clarity. 

With that said;

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X.....Avery D.