SHAUN’S POV
I limped out the school gates trying my best to not look like I was hurt in case they were watching. I was going to walk to the train because I thought I would’ve missed Bradie and Andy already.
“Hey fuckhead, hurry up!” I heard a voice like Andy’s callout.
He had stopped in the middle of the road with cars beeping behind him. I tried to put all my pain behind me and ran to his car, slamming the back door as I jumped in.
“What took you so long?” Andy asked, “I was about to leave.”
“I just got caught up,” I answered nearly on the verge of tears from the pain cascading down my leg and ribs.
It was nothing out of the ordinary. The three douchebags just tripped me as I was walking back to my locker. Except I was standing on a metre high gutter and one leg went east, the other west. It felt like I jarred my knee or something. Never the less the pain was a lot worse than what my ribs and wrist were feeling.
“What’s your problem?” Andy questioned, “you sound constipated or something.”
Charming, just charming.
“I just feel kinda sick is all,” I lied.
“I was just with you when we finished Music fifteen minutes ago,” Bradie explained, “you were fine then.”
“Just take me home,” I sighed leaning my head against the window hoping to sleep the pain off.
I ended up sleeping the whole way home. But, I didn’t wake up feeling better at all. I could barely get up out of the car I was so stiff.
“Come on old lady,” Andy said frustrated that I was taking awhile, “I’ve got a party to go to tonight.”
“What about school tomorrow?” I asked as I shut the back door.
“I have the day off,” he replied, “looks like you and Bradie are catching the train tomorrow.”
“Great,” I sighed as he backed out of my driveway.
I walked inside trying my best not to make it obvious that I was hurting. But of course mum knew something wasn’t right.
“Shaun, what’s wrong?” mum questioned from the couch.
“Nothing, I just need to lie down,” I replied trying to avoid her.
“Something’s wrong,” she said getting up and feeling my forehead, “do you feel okay?”
“Crook stomach,” I lied, I was so close to crying “I just wanna go to bed.”
“I’ll bring you up an aspirin in water later,” she responded as I made my way upstairs. Gross.
Everything hurts. Everything hurts so much. I dropped my bag in my room and made my way to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. I looked at my appearance in the mirror. I really did look terrible. It’s not even me. It’s this kid that gets tormented every day and doesn’t do anything about it. He just hides in his pain and despair pretending everything’s okay and hoping it’ll get better. I shook my head. Why am I thinking like this all of a sudden? I’ve always been one of the happiest people. I’m just being stupid. I’m fine.
I sighed and lifted up my shirt exposing my dark purple bruised ribs. That explains why I was in so much pain. I touched the tender area softly, I don’t think they’re broken. My leg had no bruising, just intense pain.
That’s it. I never want to go to school again. This just keeps happening. It’s not just the physical abuse; it’s the verbal stuff as well. Being called “gay” and “emo fag” every day actually hurts. Then on top of that I have to deal with the fact that my dad hates me and never wants to see me again. I have this permanent lump in my throat just threatening to make me burst into tears every time I open my mouth to talk to someone. Life’s just full of pain and hurt.
I looked over at my razor sitting on the counter next to the basin. I had only used it once three weeks ago and hadn’t needed it since. Being a late bloomer was another reason I got bullied the shit out of. I picked it up, I had heard about people cutting their wrists because of the other pain they were going through in life.
No way, I can’t do this. I looked back up at my reflection. Tears escaped from my eyes just from looking at myself. I looked back down at the razor. I could do it once, just to release all these feelings. I took a deep breath and pressed the sharp blade against the skin on my left wrist and more tears escaped as I lightly dragged it across. A waterfall of my blood made its way down the drain. I feel happy, like the emotional pain is starting to go away. Why stop here if it’s working? I pressed the blade to my skin and did it again, and again, and again on both wrists.
I turned the cold tap on and stuck my arms under it getting rid of the excess blood. I smiled watching as my life washed down the drain.
That was painful, but I deserved it. It’s for being such an “emo fag” and the son my dad never wanted. No wonder people hate me, I hate myself…
YOU ARE READING
I Bleed
FanfictionShaun starts getting bullied at school for being different. He decides to hide it from all his loved ones for the fear of being a failure in his friends' eyes. Will he be able to handle the constant teasing, or will he crumble like so many other tee...
