Why didn't you tell me?

A mother's advice

Emilia told her mum everything. Everything there was to tell about the last few days between her and Kit. The great thing about her mum. The thing that she's loved about her since she was a kid was her ability to listen. To just listen, without interrupting, without showing signs of disapproval, without comment, her mum would just listen. When Emilia finished she took a deep breath and sighed. Her mother then leaned forward and took her hand. "You wear your heart on you sleeve Em" she whispered as she caressed the top of her hand. "You always have, ever since you were a child" she said through a smile. "Your heart is so big, you want to love everyone, and you want to share your love and your time with anyone you can" she said as she looked into her green/blue eyes. The eyes that belonged to her own mother. "You made the right choice Em" she said as she kissed her hand and let it go. "Although, if he were truly happy with Rose, he wouldn't have written you that note and he wouldn't have kissed you. It doesn't surprise me that you slept together. Anyone can sleep with anyone, and have it mean nothing. It's when you fall in love with someone, like actually, undeniably fall in love with someone. That's when things can get complicated. That's when the trouble can start" she said as she let go of her hand and took a sip of her tea. "I think it is more than lust Emilia. From what you tell me, it sounds as though..." she stopped and hesitated. "What is it Ma?" Emilia asked curiously. "No, it doesn't matter, you've made your decision." She said as she placed her tea on the table next to her. "Please mum, tell me" she asked as she pulled her feet up onto her seat and wrapped her hands around her legs. Her mother looked at her and took a deep breath. "You're in love Emilia, that's evident and by the sounds of things, so is he. This is a dangerous place to be for the both of you. It would have been easier if it was just lust and a one night stand" she laughed. "But, it's not. Why? Because he confessed his love for you before you slept together and after" she said as she looked at her daughter through her glasses. "Now, you've made your decision and you've told Kit your wishes. A little dramatic I might add" she said through a smile. "Never the less it's been said and now here you are, sad and miserable" she sighed. "You put other people's feelings before your own Emilia. You always have. If this is what you want then that's cool, suck it up, live with it and move on. But, if he is what you want, what you truly want" she said as she stood and keeled in front of her daughter, holding both of her hands in hers. "Then you tell him, even if you know it's going to cause problems, even if you know that it is going to burn your world to the ground, because it is, and that's OK. You tell him Em, and you say it loud. Then you go from there"... Emilia smiled down at her mother. This is exactly what she wanted to hear. This is exactly why she needed to come home. She threw her hands around her neck and gave her a hug. "Thanks mum" she whispered. "I love you Emilia, and I am so proud of you" she said as she pulled away from her daughters embrace and held her face in her hands. "Whatever you decide, I will always be proud of you" she reassured her. Emilia looked at her mum as her eyes began to fill with tears once again. "Don't cry my darling" her mother whispered as she pulled her in for another hug. "No more tears" she said as she caressed her back. "Alright" Emilia whispered as she repositioned her head on her mother's shoulder, watching the flames as they burned through the wood in their fire place...

The morning snow was hitting her windows as she woke to the sound of her brother's voice. "Hey, Emilia, wake up" he whispered as he lay next to her and played with her nose. It was the day before Christmas and she was excited to see her extended family, who was descending on her family house for a couple of days. "What is it?" she whispered as she slowly opened her eyes. "You need to wake up! Your Aunty and Uncles are go..." Emilia smiled. "Our Aunty and Uncles" She interrupted. Her brother rolled his eyes, "Fine, our aunty and uncles will be here any minute now and I don't want to greet them by myself. You need to wake up and hurry up. Our cousins are so annoying. I can't do this alone Em. Get up!" He said as he shook her awake. "Ugh, I'm awake, I'm awake" she said as she sat up. "What time is it?" She asked as she threw her fingers through her hair, tying it loosely with a hair tie she grabbed off of the side of her draw. "Ah, about 6:30am" he whispered. "WHAT" she said as she threw herself back into her pillows. "GO AWAY" she yelled. "Don't wake me up so early. Leave" she said as she put a pillow over her head and pointed at her bedroom door. He brother looked at her and sighed. "Well fine, I should also tell you that you left your phone on the charger in the downstairs kitchen and it's been ringing all morning." Emilia shot up. "Who was it?" She asked as she watched her brother walk out of the room. "I don't know, I guess you'll have to get out of bed and see for yourself." He called. "AH!" She spat as she threw her legs over her bed and made her way to the kitchen. She flicked the jug on and grabbed her phone off of the charger. Five missed calls from a random number and two missed calls from Kit. Her stomach turned when she saw his name. He hadn't contacted her in weeks, and neither did she. Emilia put her phone down as she made her a tea. "I'm not going to call him back" she thought to herself. "I haven't heard from him in weeks! What could he possibly want? She said as she stood there, stirring her tea, staring at her phone. She didn't even notice her mum walking in. "You know if you stir that anymore you might make a small hole in the bench" she said sarcastically as she sat in the breakfast bar in front of her daughter. Emilia smiled. "Good morning" she said as she kissed her forehead. "Good morning Emilia" she whispered. Just as she was about to comment how annoying her brother was this morning, her phone rang again, showing a picture of his face... Emilia looked at her mum as her mum's facial expressions encouraged her to answer it. She picked her phone up and swiped the green button.

"Hello stranger" she said through the receiver. "Hey Ems it's Rose" said the voice on the other end of the phone. "OH, hey Rose!" she said, trying really hard to not sound so awkward. "Hey how's it going?" Rose asked. Emilia looked at her mother and gestured that it was Rose on the phone and not Kit. To which her mother rolled her eyes and got off of her seat to get her a cup. "Not too bad, and yourself?" she asked as she pushed the jug of tea to her mum who was now standing by her side. "Yeah, we're good. I was just wanting to invite you to a little surprise birthday party I'm throwing for Kit's thirtieth" she said casually. "If you can make it will be on New Year's Eve Ems! It would be so good to have you there" she said excitedly. Emilia looked at her mother with her big blue/green eyes. "Yeah, awesome, what time?" she asked as if she was intending on going. "Um, about seven?" she said. "Bring some friends if you wish! The more the merrier" she said as Emilia began to stir a hole into her mother's cup. "I'll be there" she said as she watched her mum snatch her cup of tea away. "That's great! OH and Ems" said Rose. "Hmm?" There was a moment of silence. "Please remember that it's a surprise birthday, so don't text Kit asking him for the low-down cause he won't know, obviously" she said as she threw a fake laugh into the mix. Emilia smiled. "Of course not, I won't text him at all" she said confidently. "Great! That's good! OK! Said Rose. "You know where we stay?" Emilia rolled her eyes. "I do, I'll see ya there at six thirty-ish, is that cool?" Perfect she said excitedly! See you then! Later Ems! "Bye Rose! Merry Chris-" Emilia looked at her phone and realised that she had hung up on her. She placed it on the marble counter in front of her and watched her mother as she sat in the front of her and laughed. "It's not funny!" she yelled as she too – broke into hysterics... "Don't think you're going to any party before you spend Christmas with us Ems" her mother said as she took a sip of her morning tea. "You cannot leave me here with our relations by myself" she said as she looked at the time. "Ugh gosh! You sound like your son" she said as she popped some bread into the toaster. "I'll book my flight for the day after boxing day" she said as she pulled the butter and jams from the fridge. "Hopefully I can get a flight out" she said sarcastically as she watched the snow fall hard on the land outside.

Christmas was high in her family and their homestead was full of family and laughter. Emilia was sitting on the couch chatting with her cousins (that were her age) about her up and coming season "Game of Thrones". "Em, tell us!" What happens? Do you make it to Westeros? Do you meet Jon Snow? WHAT HAPPENS?" They said as they were near smothering her. They had Emilia in fits of laughter. "I'm NOT TELLING!" She said. "Not even as a Christmas present" she called as she pointed her finger at her cousin James, who leaned back into the couch and sighed. Emilia loved being around family, it helped her to get over or to at least stop thinking about Kit, until they asked about his character of course. "ONE QUESTION AND THAT'S IT" they said. I will make you tea and bring you food whenever you want, for the duration of the holiday" said James. Who was actually the most die-hard fan of them all. He's read the books. "DEAL! One question" she said as her blue/green eyes scanned her cousins who then huddled together to discuss their one question. It actually took them a while because no one could agree on a question, and well, they only had one. Emilia laughed as she stood to walk to the table to get more treats. Totally missing her phone lighting up on the kitchen bench. Finally she glanced over and realised it was her phone making all of the racket. She looked down and saw that the number that had bomb called her was one she had not seen in months! She pushed his name and it didn't even ring before he answered it.

"Emilia! Please tell me you're in London,preferably around your mum's house" he said as he blew on his hands to keepthem warm. Emilia smiled through the phone...