Rant time

10/13/18

Writing 1:
Wait...

Waiting is all I tend to do. I wake every morning and wait for my tired and hurt body to move so I can get out of bed. I wait for my mothers attention so that she can listen to my experience from the night before, I wait and wait for her to understand but she never does. I get to school and wait for the day to be over. I call someone I love and wait for them to pay attention to me. When I finally speak up I'm shot down and all I can do is wait until they understand the pain too. I wait for the medication to kick in so I don't hurt as bad, but then another part of me starts to hurt because of the medication. Yet I sill wait every 6 hours to take it so I can feel better even though it wore off at the two hour mark. Two, two people who supposedly love each other, yet one gives and gives and waits for stuff in return. But all they get is to wait for their period to come to be sure they aren't pregnant. When the day is over I put my head on my pillow and cry, waiting for the person who "loves me more than anything in this world" to listen. But as soon as I pour my heart out and cry harder than I have ever before, they fall asleep. I guess they find my cries for help comforting. So I wait to go to sleep and once I do I wake from a sharp horrible pain and wait for it to leave so I can sleep again. This process repeats and leaves me waiting until morning so I can explain the experience from the night before... because waiting is all I tend to do.

Writing 2:
Realization

Sure, break ups are hard. But how about watching someone you love and loved you in pain. When all it took was for them to look at you for them to smile wildly. When they would try to tickle you to hear your laugh that they love so much. When they would hold you tight and call you "mine". When you would kiss them and they'd smile and say I have butterflies, but now you look at them and see they cry for help in their eyes. They don't feel anything. You kiss and it's like they aren't even there. You talk and all they do is stare at you. That's the thing that hurts the most. Watching them be in pain and you can't do anything about it, that no one can. That is real pain.