Poems of life's Ups And Downs

The Little Girl You Once Knew

Trigger warning #fight#depression#anger#dreammeanings#trilogy

So last night I was thinking before drifting to my dreams

The thoughts arose in my nightly visions looking more real than even my waking life seems.

It was you and I. Becoming our each others executioners holding the blade to each other

Both crying but smiling saying how we each knew so much better but seemingly determined to cut down one another.

I didn't understand it but I knew it didn't feel or look right It was truly heart wrenching to watch the display

But then they lowered the weapons while you turned to me as the other held their gaze on you. Though both asked if I was okay.

I hadn't noticed I began crying. I held my breath unwilling to answer. I bit down on my lip looking to the ground trying to hold back tears squeezing my eyes closed tight.

Surely I could buy time by prolonging my answer putting a pause on this disaster then they will calm themselves so we could be alright. Were family. There's no reason to fight.

The one taking the form of you reached back an struck me. Causing me to fall back into the dirt.

Suddenly I realized for some reason I still stood firm. I hadn't fallen nor was I hurt.

I looked over seeing the alternate me wipe a her mouth then step in between us.

She raised her sword once more and asked if it was time. To me the question seemed ambiguous

Your copy sneered but then smiled kindly. She began singing songs of peace, love, and beauty I swear I almost knew

I wanted to hold onto each verse. I wanted the battle to cease so without answering I stepped around myself only to see the ground as I flew.

But I actually crashed. I could feel the pressure as we connected and It hurt, I cried out realizing I wouldn't find myself on my feet as I had before

I hit a wall that I didn't remember seeing though the writing was clear. I wish I could recall the passage since it gave me the will to stand once more.

I held my cheek seeing nothing more than a scratch. It hurt more than it truly damaged. I took note and felt a new confidence that I could survive this. I'm not as delicate as I thought. It doesn't even look like it will scar

I glanced over to myself seeing them still. Never had they moved since asking the question but for some reason the answer seemed clearer. But giving the answer was more painful than any strike so far.

I spoke quietly choking out a simple yes. Within a second of that my copy was between us again sword raised high before bringing it down with a force I never knew any version  of myself could posses.

I had to admit it was certainly a surprise seeing that it wasn't you she struck rather than a simple cord on my ankle extending to yours, attaching and linking us .

It shattered like glass as I felt a sharp pain but soon comforting stillness though you looked unphased and ready to continue the dual. My copy helped me up and dusted me off giving me the sword.

She told me then it was my choice now. I was free and had no excuses. I was now on my own since I don't need a shield anymore and I could strike or leave. She faded like a mist and I walked up kneeling with a simple apology. I gave up control. No excuses it was of my own accord