Everything Has Changed: Book Four

Chapter One: Lonely

Chapter One: Lonely

Beep, beep, beep, beep-

I reach over to silence my alarm clock, sighing.

I rub at my eyes and force myself into an upright position.

Ew. Morning.

I stare longingly at the empty side of the bed and then throw the covers off of me.

The silence throughout the house is unsettlingly. It makes my heart ache with longing.

I go to the bathroom and turn on the shower. Upon removing my clothing, I step into the hot spray, standing there to wake myself up.

It never works. The hot water lulls me to sleep and the cold water makes me want to get under the covers to get warm.

Mornings are dull and boring now, when they used to be upbeat and fun.

I wash my body, exhausted, and then I shave. I wash my hair last and get out, wrapping a towel around me. I brush my teeth and hair, and then I walk into the bedroom. I pull on a thong and a pushup bra, a pair of black skinny jeans, and a grey sweater. I pair it with white vans, and then I blow dry my hair and put on my makeup. I unplug my phone and put it in my pocket, walking across the hall to Emily's room.

She's fast sleep on her twin sized bed, her blonde hair messed up all over her face. One arm is above her head and her shirt rose up to her ribs.

I crouch down to the level of the bed.

"Emmy? Good morning, Beautiful. It's time to wake up."

She opens her eyes and sits up, a pout on her face.

She blinks a couple of times and rubs her eyes, looking at me.

She doesn't say anything for a second, pouting.

"It's not even morning Momma." She mumbles finally.

"It is morning, Cutie."

"The sun isn't up." She says groggily.

I reach over to peel back the curtains.

"It is up." I say.

She pouts and flops her head back into the pillow. She turns her head to the side a moment later and I reach out to run my fingers through her blonde hair.

She sits up again and looks behind me out of her bedroom door.

"I miss Daddy." She whispers.

"I know sweetheart, Momma misses Daddy too."

And I do. I'm so lonely when the kids are in bed.

Every day when she wakes up, she looks at her door to see if Danny is here.

But he's not.

She stands up on her bed and reaches her arms out to me. I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist, burying her head in my shoulder.

I hold her as I go to her closet and grab a blue and white dress. I get her white sandals and set her clothes on the dresser. I sit her on her beanbag chair and make her bed.

"How about you help me with your stuffed animals?" I point to the pile of her stuffed animals.

She stands up and walks over to her stuffed animals, arranging them on the bed.

I ruffle her messy hair when she's finished.

"You get dressed, okay? I'm going to wake up Ethan."